The Future is Unwritten

Good morning, Tuesday...I'm not sleeping so well these days and wake up in the middle of the night, feeling tired but not able to go back to bed...need to nip that in the bud stat as my waking hours have me feeling like an extra in the "Thriller" video.

Anyway, my post yesterday was truly from the heart- I have so much fear for this country and what's to come- a friend of mine who works on political strategy assured me all of this religious fire and brimstone is typical of an election year- it's not like GW was an agnostic or anything...but I'm hoping all of us can continue to enjoy our rights, and live how we please. But now to the fantastic documentary I watched last night on Joe Strummer. As a young girl growing up in the suburbs of Philadelphia, the Clash gave me music that I needed to hear, and I was never the same again. They were the soundtrack to my often rebellious youth, and I still can't get enough of them to this very day.

If you have a chance, see this incredible and fascinating look at the lead singer of the Clash's life, entitled "The Future is Unwritten". I've written at length about my love for the Clash and their songs composed of piss, vinegar, and nails. When the Clash came on the scene in the 70s, England was in a bad state, the haves had too much, the have nots had not enough, and tensions were rising between races. Punk came after the peace and love of the 60s, and spit on the face of disco, the obvious heir to the era of flower power, with its druggy and hedonistic haze and promise of good times. But punk rejected all of that- it was ugly, hard, tough, and pissed off. In many ways, punk music would seem very home in today's current occupied state of things- and listening to "White Riot" last night had me thinking it's the perfect anthem for those who hold allegiance to the 99%, because it is indeed a "riot of their own". 

So Joe joined the Clash, and music was forever changed by their incredible sound. Sure the Sex Pistols were a fantastic sign of the times, but the Clash were real musicians, and sponges for the state of things. I loved their style- the combination of rockabilly and punk swagger on Joe, the skinny and sexy snarl of Paul, and the tartness of Mick Jones. How can you not love the slow groove of "Straight to Hell", or the incredible reggae goodness of "Police and Thieves"? That's why I loved the Clash- Joe was a sponge for world music, and related to the struggles of the common man- "Sandinista!" is all about a young person's revolution, and a rally cry to not take anymore bullshit. 

When you watch Joe's journey unfold on screen (did you know his father was of Indian descent?), it's hard to ignore his passion, his ability to take the sounds of the global and bring them to a larger audience. Sure the Clash got too big, too commercial, and too stadium friendly. But their music was a call to arms for those sick of the way things were. And cut to today. We need Joe now more than ever.

At the end of his life, Joe found true contentment with his last band, the Mescaleros, who played music from all over the world and brought us a sort of caravan and campfire culture that Joe so loved. His fascination with campfires was all about community, bringing people together, having a chat, and warming oneself with ideas, inspirations, and glimmers of change in the burning embers. And then it hit me- out of all of this misery and fear we're seeing right here, right now, we have a huge opportunity to let the anger create something amazing- not debilitate us, frustrate us, or burn with no purpose. We need to take that fire and bring it to the artists, the writers, the musicians and have them fuel the flames. We don't have to dwell in it, but we do need to create good from it- in the form of something that can inspire all of us. I loved that Joe was a man of the people- that when the Clash came to New York and were the darlings of the cool kids, they wanted to travel by taxi and meet the locals- their fascination with America, Africa, Jamaica, and other global cultures before there was an internet to unite us all was nothing short of awe inspiring. That's what true artists do- unite people and inspire us with things we may not have seen before. 

And one of my favorite lines from the film was Joe's proclamation, that when it came to performing "you gotta give it all you got or forget it". I was never lucky to see the Clash in person, but watching that footage of them onstage was nothing short of terrifying, awe inspiring, and challengingly energetic. That's what the Clash did at their best- they challenged us with their rawness, their ability to take their blood, sweat, and tears and put it on a stage. And instead of focusing on what may bring us down this year, I'm going to give it all I got to keep going, because I'm not ready to "forget it". I'm hoping to get involved with some causes this year that I am passionate about, and though we can never get back the genius of Joe Strummer, his legacy and message of uniting people around the world and celebrating our differences an creating art out of them lives on.Joe died from a heart defect that took him quickly- and just like that, the fire went out. We really don't know what's coming, so the only way to live is with purpose and conviction each and every day. Don't take any of this crap lying down people- and bring it today, even if you feel like going back to bed. And if indeed the future is unwritten, let's all do our part to ensure it's a work of art, and not a horror novel, OK? Cause that's what's up this we can change things kind of Tuesday in the 718. Long live Joe Strummer, and please watch this inspiring film. And if you are an artist or creative of any kind, you have a real opportunity here to express yourself in the face of this (inherently flawed) mortal coil. XO

 

Link below:

http://www.joestrummerthemovie.com/

 

 

What's going on?

Good morning, my Monday. I'm feeling good this am, and wondering how I ever lived without Trader Joe's. They make life easy for a lazy cook like me- lazy because though I do love to cook, I'm not so keen on prepping every little thing, and they make it easy for me with all of their chopped and "throw in the oven" offerrings. I dig you, Trader Joe's. A lot.

So I'm still a little broken from this weekend's Republican debates. I'm not one to talk politics on this blog, but it's pretty impossible to not have something to say when all of this madness that is happening. I'm one of the first people to tell you that I'm super over the partisan insanity- if there was a good candidate coming from the Republican side, I could tolerate them. And I'm not blind enough to think Obama has dotted all the I's and crossed the T's- he has not. But he has done some terrific things (goodbye Osama, goodbye war in Iraq, so long "don't ask, don't tell") despite interference from the "others" who make it agonizing for him to get anything done (healthcare in particular sticks out in my mind, though it seems like everything he does other than killing terrorists gets met with fisticuffs). 

As I watched the debates, one of the most stunning things to me, besides the complete Victorian values of the candidates, was the utter lack of respect for our Commander in Chief. The way they talk about him is a disgrace- and I don't know about you, but I was always taught to never slam your "boss" in a job interview, and this being the biggest interview of their lives, they should really stop beating up on their boss, because he is theirs, until he isn't. It's disgusting and intolerable.

Also as I mentioned for those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, to keep referencing the Constitution in its original form is nothing short of archaic. We all respect the founding fathers, but can we really take such a literal interpretation, with no revisions, to a document created in 1787? Before there were world wars and Columbine and 9/11 and equal rights ammendments? Before the internet, television, and automobiles? To me, regardless of what I believe Santorum railed against (the notion that this country is a business), we are a business, and a big one. Can you imagine a company running the same way it ran when it was 10 people vs. when it was upwards of a thousand? Now imagine running this country the same way we did when we were wee. It's absolutely ludicrous, and since I've been reading a lot lately about CEOs for some work I'm doing, almost every article written about the great ones agrees that they all have something in common- they are great champions and agents of change. Following an old document to guide us in this world that is changing faster than we can keep up is stupid. How about a little rewrite, rethink, or retool? Let's keep the original principles in mind, but let's move forward, shall we? I for one am glad I don't have to churn butter, wear a bonnet, or live without track lighting. Can we, please?

Further, this religious platform has me frightened. Though I am not terribly religious, I am Jewish, and I am not too keen on all this talk of Christian values, because guess what? Many of us in this great country are not Christians, and that's why we live here- because we can practice any religion we want. Religion has no place in government, just as it has no place in work or at school. The reason is not because I hate the thought of spirituality, it's that this country is too diverse to impose these values on us- I am however, for a more spiritual approach to work, life, and leadership- teaching kindness, respect, humility, and caring (hey, Newt, that one's for you, you arrogant arse). 

I can't get behind all of this G-d talk, especially when the very notion of family has changed- I care not that the Bible says this or that, gay families are loving families, single parents are lovely parents, and to be completely honest, male/female marriage is on the decline at a rapid pace, so I for one would love the gays to boost the sanctity of the institution, and all the Bible thumpers can take their ancient thinking and shove it. We need innovators, thinkers, creative problem solvers. Not religious fanatics. Sure I know I live in the most progressive city in the country, but I struggle to believe that every other city and state in this land is full of gun toting rednecks. And if you are only voting Republican because you're worried about your 1% status losing steam and getting taxed squarely on the ass, well, shame on you. I wouldn't worry about us becoming a "European welfare state" (Mitt said that), but has our system really done us so well of late? Would it be so bad to share the wealth and bring back the middle class so our economy can start pumping again? (Santorum says we don't have classes, by the way. Perhaps we should drop him off in Detroit, where he can see that we do. All of that religious blind faith has eaten his brain). And I know there's some weird young person's fascination with Ron Paul, who at least is not totally idiotic, but he is as old as the hills, and we don't need that. Sure, we all love Hunstman in a way, but still...too conservative for me, though at least a good human being, with a nice family. I can almost relate to him. Perry, when asked what he would be doing on a normal Saturday night if he was not at the debates, answered he would be at the "shooting range". Really? I don't like the cut of that man's jib, not one bit. He's probably the scariest one, with Santorum a close second, though Romney's inability to seem genuine or not backpedal is a massive flaw, character and otherwise.

I know it's a volatile time in our history- there's so much anger, frustration, and suffering. But I am scared that all of these candidates are using religion to appeal to the desperate masses- and at it's worst, that's what religion does- it preys on the weak and imposes its values on them. We need someone who understands how much we need to move forward- in thought, in manufacturing, in moving our economy forward, in our foreign policy. We have come too far for this, we have stumbled, but now it's time to get up. I honestly could not sleep Saturday night because I was so troubled by these white men telling us how we should live, talking about a straight interpretation of the Constitution, but forgetting why we all love it here- BECAUSE WE CAN BE WHO WE WANT TO BE. Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, gay, straight, male, female, black, white, or otther. It's enough of this conservative shit. It's not going to get us where we need to be, because it doesn't embrace who we are now. And that's what I have to say about that, and I promise not to say much more about politics, because I know you'd rather hear me talk about furniture, fashion, and fabulousness. Don't worry- loads more of that to come..but I needed to get that out, because I am vexed and troubled by all of these candidates, and that's what's up this nothing funny about peace, love, and understanding kind of Monday in the 718. Please open your mind today and celebrate our differences. Marvin Gaye had it right- I am serioulsy wondering "what's going on". these days. XO

 

 

 

 

More feeling, less doing

Friday, you're here, and you've arrived with a day of deliveries (furniture) and box removal guys that shall finally allow our move to set in. We really "live" here now. I'm amazed.

I hesitated to talk too much about New Year's reflections upon my return to this blog, but wanted to tell you how I'm looking at 2012, with all of this change around me and within me and beside me. As I read through the posts of Facebook friends and read the tweets of celebrities, I realized that all of us are conditioned to think that we are actually in control of what will happen this year. Sure, you can lose weight, stop smoking, or write the next great American novel, but I'm struggling to understand the purpose of all of this agenda setting, because we simply have no control when it comes to a sort of universal change. I'm not saying throw out your goals, but I am saying this- LIVE A LOT, NOT A LITTLE. Stop with the constant carb counting, overscheduling, insane worrying about getting by and getting ahead. I have found in my own life that when I'm feeling desperate for change and try to push too hard to manifest it, it doesn't happen, and I get deflated and anxious and frustrated.

But when I give in (not give up) and have faith that I will somehow get what I need, it appears- in the form of more work, the perfect vision for my reconfigured living situation, or a realization that not everything in our lives is there for the reason you think it is- I started this blog as a personal outlet and it's led to a realization that writing is my passion, a rediscovered passion that was dead for many years. I think it revealed itself to me as I looked to this blog not as a way to make money, change careers, or change my life. I just did it because it felt good, and expected nothing from it; yet it gave me so much. I had no idea however many posts ago that I would be pursuing a new path as a writer, and there's great humility in that- sure I crafted this destiny for myself, but I didn't try to control every inch of it. I simply let it unfold. I think it's sad how as we get older and worries about all of our adult responsibilities take over, we lose our ability to be spontaneous. I can't help but wonder what toll this is taking on all of us- so many opportunities and lessons pass us by when we have our head buried in yet another list of everything we need to do. How about at least once a week, not being a slave to a list or discipline or plan? There's great beauty in the unexpected, trust me, even if that involves something as simple as stopping to smell the flowers instead of burying your head in your phone. I can't help but wonder- are we so worried about what's going to kill us that we've stopped really "living"?

So as you're booking appointments with your personal trainer, wondering how you can eat another salad for lunch without having murderous thoughts, or feeling trapped in a career that no longer feels simpatico with your being, fear not. Just have faith that there's big plans for you, too- regardless of whether you make it to the gym today or not. It's just the way life works. Or at least I think it does...in 2012, I think I am going to continue my belief that everything is as it should be, right here,right now. Have faith that everything we do has something to show us, and if we work ourselves into a lather trying to schedule our lives to the point of overprecision or having unrealistic expectations or thinking that not eating something delicious once in a while is going to change our lives, well...set yourself free from that right NOW. That's what I mean about starting to feel, with less emphasis on "doing". It's great if you're working out get a better ass, but once in a while focus on how good it makes you feel. And if you're stuck in a career you hate because it's "what you do", start focusing on the things that make you :"feel" the good feelings, and change will happen. Just. Like. That. (PS I'm not suggesting any of us can stop what we're doing- I still have work to do, I still have to pay my rent, and I still have to go the gym. I'm not stopping those things anytime soon. I'm just reorienting myself to think about them in a different way).

Cause that's what's up this leave yourself alone and feel more than do kind of Friday in the greatest city on Earth. All the love for a fabulous weekend- be kind to yourself.  And eat a piece of bread for crying out loud.  I guarantee that when you are old and gray one day, you're not going to revel in the fact that you didn't eat that croissant, you're going to remember how good it tasted and wish you could have another one. XO

Baby, it's cold outside...

Oh, hi Thursday...it's a chilly one this am, but here's the deal- I'm bored with people complaining about the weather. In my mind, if I can still feel the nip in the air, it means I'm alive, so can't really complain about that, can I now? Breathe in the air, whether it's cold or warm- makes no difference because we're lucky to be outside, and here, right now.

But if some of you are dreading the winter and can't bear the cold, have no fear- the Spring campaigns are here. I have to say, I'm not super impressed, though I am digging Arizona Muse's nod to Linda Evangelista in the new Isabel Marant ads- loving the pixie haircut. And as predicted, there's a bit of a girl with the dragon tattoo moment happening in the ads for YSL featuring Mariacarla Boscono shot by David Sims. Not a look for the faint of heart- those bangs are a tough call, but I'm somehow intrigued by them. And the Louis V. ads shot by Steven Meisel are all pink confection, candy shop, Marie Antoinette hued. Adorable. 

But my favorite by far is this ad from Longchamp- it's a lovely homage to Arthur Elgort and features Coco Rocha and was shot by Diane Shitagi.I think it's fresh, classic, and charming all at once. And as the temperature drops and I'm all covered up, bare legs while walking the dog give me a lovely feeling...just loving the little moment in time thing, and Coco avec le chien is perfection. 

Thought I'd just break you off a sliver of some spring fashion pie today- winter is upon us, so perhaps the below link from Fashionologie that shows all the Spring campaigns will warm your heart. Cause that's what's up this Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall kind of Thursday in the Brooklyn zoo. I am a woman for all seasons, after all. XO

Check out all the campaigns here:

http://www.fashionologie.com/Spring-2012-Fashion-Ad-Campaigns-20732970?page=0,0,0

Thinking big while thinking small...

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Hi, Wednesday. I just got back from a spin class that felt a bit like Fire Island circa 1992- needless to say it was fabulous- all Crystal Watersesque and such. Loved it.

So check it- the past few weeks have been a real education for me in the power of dual thinking. Lest you think I've become some sort of Scientologist or some other cult member, I haven't. I'm simply adjusting my state of mind to accommodate my new life in New York.

In Miami, we lived in a massive apartment that was a blank canvas- there was no piece of furniture that was too large, too overstuffed, or too grand that would not fit in there. My closet was a behemoth- and everything I owned- from clothes to dishes to Moroccan leather chairs fit beautifully in the space. In many ways, the sky was the limit in terms of how big I could think when it came to my living space- think go big, stay home. It was a lovely feeling, but the rest of my life- the ambition, the need to experience excitement and stimulation, and the potential to network and such had me feeling small. Miami is surely a beautiful place, but in terms of living one's dreams, well, not so much. Sure it's possible if your dreams involve palm trees and clear skies and warm, balmy days, but I'm not there yet. Mine still involve working with amazing people, doing great things, and feeling the energy of the city whose hold on me was still so strong after all those years. So in Miami, I could think big in terms of space, but small in terms of possibilities. Cut to now.

In New York, you've got to think small to think big. We moved into a large apartment for sure, but its' a series of small rooms where our furniture feels a bit like Stonehenged scale. David and I panicked at first- how on Earth could we make this place a home with what we have? The answer was- we couldn't (my friend Kat wondered why we schlepped all our stuff from Miami, and she was more than right). So we had to think small. Slowly, we were able to see the potential of this place and the power of thinking small when it comes to living spaces in New York- we purged ourselves of old paperbacks (did I really need three copies of Valley of the Dolls?), and we are finally seeing some bites on our pieces that we placed on Craigslist, after we dropped the prices to bargain basement rates (again- thinking small in every way, including the money we will make to get these monster pieces out of the way).

We had to scale down our thinking to make this place work- instead of overstuffed and comfy we're going sleek and midcenturyish. Instead of high pieces, we're going with low. It's humbling to purge oneself of all of these massive things and get small. It actually feels pretty good- because I absolutely despise clutter- I can barely watch "Hoarders" without having a panic attack. So there you go, thinking small. Now here comes the big part.

So here I am, in New York, my spirit city and the place that makes me feel grounded, secure, and inspired. I no longer have to worry about driving around town in search of adventure (I am not so much of a driver)- I have everything right outside of my door or a quick subway ride away. When I walk on the Promenade and look out at the city, the giant scale of the buildings makes me feel safe. The fact that I can meet anyone, anywhere for lunch, dinner, or drinks is massive. The potential to partner with the best talent around is huge. There's no end to the possibilities of doing great work here- so that's the BIG part. It's worth sacrificing some dusty old tomes and some furniture to be able to think big, and that's that- we simply had to take it down ten notches to dream the bigger dream. There's the power of dual thinking, children. In today's multitasking polyuniverse, it's not so hard to think two ways at once. I'm most humbled by the duality of this life in the city, and I'm embracing both ends of the spectrum here, and so should you. If you're having a problem that needs fixing or you're stuck in a rut- try taking opposing poles or attitudes and embrace them both- it's almost like a pros and cons type thing, but better. It's just taking both sides and making them work...and that's that. In New York, you simply have to think small to think big. And that's what I've got for you today, here in the chilly and healthily bipolar 718- all the love that's fit to write, cause there's always two sides to every story...XO

 

 

 

 

 

On bakeries and bravery

Oh, hi, you Tuesday you. Sure I've been gone forever from these pages and you're most likely expecting something contemplative, exuberant, and renewed for this 2012. Yea, I've got some of that, but today I just want to tell you a story.

I'll get to that, don't worry your sexy little bedheads. But for now I need to share a little tale that was so particularly New York in brand, and it all happened yesterday. 

As I woke up in Brooklyn yesterday am in the dawn of a new year, I neither felt inspired or excited. I simply needed coffee. Badly. 

So off I went to Bien Cuit, the insanely delicious French bakery in my neighborhood. David and I sat and drank coffee, and I sat and stared at his chocolate almond croissant. I am on a ridiculous diet that inhibits me from enjoying food of this nature. I sat and sipped my nonfat latte, which felt decadent enough as I've recently tried to quit coffee, and especially coffee with (gasp the horror) milk. Yes, there's something kind of chic about black coffee- it's no nonsense and a somewhat old school approach to caffeine, but it doesn't really taste good, does it? I'm more of a light and sweet type, myself.

Anyway, yesterday was a bit of a nippy morning and as I sat in my coat and drank my coffee and stared at that temptress of a croissant while inhaling the delicious smells of baked goods, I spotted a rather rotund gentleman, with an assortment of bad tattoos, in nothing more than an ill fitting tank top and jeans, ordering his breakfast. It struck me because it was beyond cold outside, and because there's a certain smugness in this neighborhood that would merit some raised eyebrows for this bold act of a) dressing inappropriately for the weather and b) dressing inappropriately for one's body type. I then watched him eat a chocolate croissant and a croque monsieur, alone at a table with both sweet and savory and felt a certain snobby satisfaction that I resisted the urge to eat buttery foods, though inside I was jealous of his ribald act, tank top and all. This is what happens when you diet, PS. You enter a sort of depravity and inability to reason- you judge yourself and everyone around you. It's fucked. Willpower is highly overrated because it leads to both inferiority and superiority complexes. And there was really nothing weird about this tank top wearing gentleman with the bad carnival tats, it's just that his indulgence seemed over the top to a girl who has been eating nothing but greens and protein for a few weeks now.

So then the day continued- nothing remarkable, really. A bit of a nap, some housecleaning, some Fresh Direct grocery ordering. I decided to do an evening spin class so I got my (hungry) ass off the sofa and went to the gym. I'm lucky enough to have a gym on my corner, but unlucky enough to hate it there. I admit it- it's a dank den of low energy and I just don't like it. It's fine for the winter when the three blocks to walk to Equinox seems way too long, so for now, I'll accept it, even though it feels like a subterranean pit for Brooklyn gym zombies. But I digress.

As I did some weights and searched on Spotify for something to inspire me, I looked inside the body conditioning class and guess who I saw? It was the man from the coffee shop, still in the same tank, now with shorts, teaching the bloody body conditioning class, flailing about and generally looking exceedingly awkward as a confused group of gym bunnies exchanged worried glances. I did a double take, and then I couldn't turn away. How in the world was this guy a gym instructor? Usually they tend to be in great shape, don't they? Could my sweet and savory loving friend really be a trainer? I couldn't believe my eyes.

Then it was time for spin, so in I went. And guess who came in to teach the class. Uh huh. Tank top tattoo guy. But here's where it gets good- he taught the body conditioning class because the teacher never showed up, and since it was the same instructor for spin, he was volunteering to lead the class. (Hey New York Sports Club, a word: not having an instructor a day after New Year's is beyond unacceptable. Epic fail). He told us he could not sit on the platform and actually "teach", but he would sit in the front row and lead us, and we could follow him if we wanted or not. PS, he was still panting and sweating from his previous teaching stint, profusely I might add. 

As the class was full, I completely expected a mass exodus. What happened next was pure genius- we all stayed, every single one of us, and let him do his thing. And you know what, he did amazingly well considering his body fat index, his lack of endurance, and his general struggle to speak as he was cycling. His music happened to be great, even though Pandora kept interrupting the class. The dude taught for about 35 minutes, until his body kind of gave out, though we all applauded his efforts. And there's where the uniquely New York thing comes in- you really do gain respect from people for taking risks, pitching in, and leading in the face of tragedy (this tragedy being no spin class the day after the end of complete decadent holiday behavior). I love that this guy tried his best to deliver a good class, and that all of us stayed to cheer him on. It just goes to show you that even though you may be a square peg in this town, if you're willing to try, people will give you a chance. And perhaps he was able to get through it because he had a belly full of delicious baked goods. Regardless of whether carbs contributed to the success of his class or it was sheer resolve, we all got off our bikes at the end and applauded- what an effort. I still hate that gym but at least there's people there I can admire, who are pushing themselves beyond their limits and volunteering, even in the most cynical of crowds- the next time I see my homeboy in Bien Cuit, I'm going to buy him a pastry, or two. He deserves it for putting himself out like that...

That's what I've got for today. Appreciate the square peg in yourself today on your way to work, at the gym, or when someone needs you to do something you may not be sure you can do- because if you have to, you can. It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood, and that's what's up this bravely, well baked kind of Tuesday in this here 2012. Go kill it today, even it if it hurts a little. You'll at least get points for trying. All the love...XO

 

See you next year...

Good morning, Monday...hope you all had a great weekend. I'm struggling to get it together- our apartment is not feeling right yet and we have much to do- our furniture is not working at all and we most likely have to have a massive purge and replace- it's a bummer but New York living is very different than Miami living. And though I have not once thought about Miami the city, I have very much thought about Miami, the apartment. Oh, that apartment...I'm thrilled that a dear friend of mine took it- it really was the nicest place I have ever lived and felt fantastic to pass it on to someone I hold dear. And though this place has potential, I'm wondering if Nate Berkus or someone cute like that takes on charity cases when it comes to home decor. The whole thing gives me anxiety and I just want it to be done, yet I don't know where to begin.

I often resist the urge to be negative on this blog- at times I go for snark but when I'm feeling low, I don't love to share- I don't like sympathy and I don't need to bog anyone out there in the blogosphere with my bullshit- nobody needs ot hear me complain about how my furniture doesn't work, how I am living in an apartment with a yard in Brooklyn that I can't quite get used to, and how I am wondering what the next phase of my life will hold- for the first time ever I am jobless in New York, but hoping to continue my freelance and entrepreneurial endeavors because that is my path. But there you have it- I've said it- I'm having a real rough time, which was super unexpected. I think it's the absence of a routine that has me crazy too- I can't seem to get it together to go to the gym, go get coffee, and go do all of those things that make one feel balanced and normal and straight. And though we all bitch about the routine, the grind, the treadmill of work/life, it's somehow comforting to have all those little duckies in a row. I really am more Rain Man than I thought.

I never realized how much I need to have my physical "home" in order, as in the place I wake up each day, cook each day, and hang out in each day. I'm not sure why this place is not quite working, but it's kind of a bummer. I am sure we will get there, but it's tough. Though I know it seems stupid to bitch about something like outsized furniture when so many have no place to live or no food to eat. I'm not in that boat thank goodness, I'm just feeling massively out of sorts, not in tune with the universe, and wondering when this apartment will ever feel like home. It's helped to see some friends this past week and reconnect with old ones- I've enjoyed that immensely but I find myself clinging to each moment I get in Manhattan, and not wanting to get back on the train to Brooklyn. It's a craving for the familiar, I suppose, and though I lived in this very neighborhood many years ago after a bad breakup, it's still not my Manhattan, even though it is filled with cute boutiques, the magic of local, and loads of amazing places to eat. I  miss the hop, skip, and a jump nature of Manhattan- the ease of bopping around, the ability to find a Sephora close by, to duck into a Soul Cycle class whenever I want. I know it's crazy, but it's true. I am seconds away from the city on the train, but somehow it's not the same.

I think that in times of great transition (now I'm speaking of my career), the power of a comfy home is key- and right now, I still can't find most of my clothes. What's surprising beyond belief is that Khan seems to be adjusting to life in the 718 better than anyone else living in this house- he struts around Court Street like he owns it, and is very much enjoying taking the spiral staircase to our living room two paws at a time, in a sort of doggy bunny hop. As for me, I'm humbled by how this huge move has made me feel- I was feeling very powerful in Miami, and now that I am here, the sheer newness and change has thrown me into a tizzy. I suppose it's normal, but I'm reeling. 

Anyway, I've decided to take a break and find some inspiration, strength, and joy in what I know was the right decision for all of us. So I'll be back after the New Year to check in and tell you how we're coming along. Right now I am grateful for having a warm home, a wonderful husband, and a well adjusted dog, but as for me? Well, that may take a minute or two. I'm going to use the time over the holidays to get myself together, get our place together, and hopefully get my inspiration back. I have great hopes for 2012, and I need to trust and be patient and figure out how to feel like me again. I hope the holidays bring you great joy, prosperity, and success. I will get there, I know, but going to take a time out to focus on securing my sense of self and not feeling so dispirited. Love to you all- please keep reading this blog, you have no idea how incredible it's been to write this each day...I just don't want to shortchange you with posts thate aren't inspired when I'm way more focused on finding my way...hope you will take that journey with me in the year to come. All the love, and that's what's up this making changes kind of Monday in the 718. I know I'm a lucky woman but I'm somewhat lost in  (unfamiliar) space right now. I'm a bit of an unmade bed right now and hoping to tidy up in the weeks to come. XO

I love the nightlife....

Good morning, Friday. I have about half an eye open because I am hungover like mad, but it was so worth it. Allow me to pontificate on why going out in New York is more fun than anywhere else...

Last night, a friend and I got glam and went to a super fun holiday party- complete with old school soul and hip hop and immediately, just like that, I was transported to my early days of living in this sacred town. It's still classic, amazing, the people still have more style than anywhere, are sexier than anywhere, and dance better than anywhere. Everyone at this party came correct- from the guy with the bleached dreads and the leather jacket with denim vest combo to the beautiful Asian girl with the ski hat and silk blouse- it was ON. There's simply something about going out here that is just way too much fun- the vibe is perfect if you hit the right spots, and the class and style of the people just doesn't exist anywhere- because in New York, people are just who they are, and they're not apologizing for it and they're sexy as all get out because they care not what you think. It's unabashed reality at its absolute finest, and if this is what's real, I'll take it. And take it again and again. Everybody's gorgeous and up for it and having fun, without a lick of pretension- at least at the places I like to go. There's plenty of pretension down the street, but I avoid it at all costs. I prefer the vibe of early 90s New York- the small little shitholes where you just danced your ass off and we all came together in the pursuit of fun- that's all I needed then and I think that's all I need now. Grown up or not, I still like a good party and that's that.

As I sit here and listen to old Yellowman records, I'm pinching myself a bit that we've moved back here.It's not going to be easy, but it's so worth it. There simply is no other place where I can have this much fun...the rewards of this city just knock me out. Pow. 

Cause that's what's up this New York is fun after dark kind of Friday in the 718, Have a fabulous and free weekend- go somewhere and do something, would you? XO

Reggae on vinyl and malaise

Not particularly. How I dig it...that's about all I have today for you (I know it's lame). I'm trying to be patient as I wait for my life to begin but it's not exactly taking...anyone want to give me a jumpstart? Bob Marley helps a bit, but still...I'm stuck today and I admit it.

In the meantime, I'm fantasizing about Tulum and Jamaica, my two happy places. Sure I just got here, but it's nice to think about, and I adore the pop up concept from that Berlin hotel group happening there, going to be amazing. I must go to there.

Love to you all, cause that's what's up this not good at waiting kind of Thursday in the 718. XO

Link to hotel below:

http://tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/06/now-booking-papaya-play-project/

The art of going with it

Good morning, Wednesday...

So I'm settling into my new life because I absolutely want to- there's no value in stressing about things- change is a constant as we all know from a lifetime of fortune cookies and self help so it's really up to us to figure out how to move with it, and not against it.

And that's what makes New York the perfect city to experience change in- it's constantly in motion and it makes much more sense to go with the flow than to try to walk against it. It's one of the many things I love about being here- you are constantly walking, subwaying, cabbing to get somewhere and to just keep going. Staying still is not much of a choice- so you can either move with traffic or against it, but hint- the latter choice is not a good one. Sure you can stay still from time to time (that's what Sundays are for), but moving forward, always moving forward is the way to go, because if you keep moving forward, you will get THERE, wherever there is. My advice is to do all of this with music- I for one am digging on some old school Velvets and Lou Reed while on the subway, which made getting off at the wrong stop yesterday a little less painful (sweet, sweet Jane).

So that's the story, my lovely little morning glories. I'm starting to love waking up to the sounds of the city and feeling like there is no place I'd rather be- keep it moving, people. Cause that's what's up this getting there kind of midweekin the BK, yo. Best foot forward, sometimes you do need to just stop, but that time is not now- I've got too much I want to do ...XO