the world according to sherimaven

Good morning, Tuesday. Hot and humid day in the city and getting that feeling a lot of people are on edge. I can feel that coming off of people today because I stand with them in that- I'm feeling super on edge and though I try not to get too political in these posts, I have to. I wanted to write a piece about what to pack for the Fourth but feel compelled to do otherwise. Because I'm not on edge from the heat, but rather, the Supreme Court ruling yesterday denying women of their rights.

I'm sure there's some conservatives among you that think that birth control is not something employers should pay for, but as one of my Facebook friends pointed out, Hobby Lobby pays for prescriptions to Viagra for their male employees. Oh, and vasectomies. So men can have as much sex as they want to, as often as they want to, with little consequence besides an erection that may last a little too long.  That seems fair. 

What's truly stinging about this decision besides its obvious archaic and ridiculous premise is that not only does this wreak havoc with women's rights, but it also comes a few days before we celebrate our independence. As a free country. Where the old guard can no longer tell us what to do. With liberty and justice for all. Remember that? That's my biggest issue with these people- they claim to be Constitutional purists and literalists yet, but only when it's convenient to support their inbred agendas. I for one am not feeling very patriotic right now, but my American DNA tells me to fight this somehow, along with everyone I know who should do everything in their power to fight this, because yesterday's decision gave me  the deep DIYs- as in, let's do our own things and start working for ourselves. I have met too many smart and creative women to think that a commitment to self-employment would not be an effective measure to fight this ridiculous ruling.

We can't allow our employers to determine what we do with our bodies. I think it's clear to me now that women need to take a stand, not just by protesting, but also by completely going out on their own, and starting businesses that prosper and flourish because some dinosaurs on the Supreme Court said it's ok for employers to impose their religious beliefs on them. There has really never been a better opportunity in history than right now for women to take control and shift this paradigm. I've never felt more strongly that we need female entrepreneurs more than we ever have, not just so women can have their own success but so these same women can help those that need jobs. It's truly a win win, even though this decision is anything but.

 And I ask you- would you rather work at Hobby Lobby or work for someone who supports your decision to choose what's best for you? And further, would you rather work at Hobby Lobby and contribute to this nonsense or try and go out on your own, supported by scores of women who should band together to help each other and guide each other through a more entrepreneurial life? After all, isn't the 4th of July a celebration of our independence- is there a better time to start acting on that great idea you had for a business or joining a company where people share your values? And here's something else- I wonder what Hillary would do.  When asked about the ruling yesterday, she said she found it "deeply disturbing we are going in that direction".  I'm curious to see what this next election brings, but until that time, we need to knock some heads and go out on our own. It's our right as Americans and that's the truth. Sometimes you have to hit bottom to get to the top, and if this isn't hitting bottom, I'm not sure what is. And though many of us are spinning the globe thinking of what country to move to (present company included), maybe we need to stay home and teach these fossils a thing or two by embracing our own self service as fire starters and business owners.  Hobby Lobby can suck it. We are not powerless and I suspect this is far from over. In the meantime, dust off that business plan and get to work. 

Cause that's what's up this doing it for ourselves, not powerless kind of Tuesday in the 212. Yours, in flipping that script. XO

Good late morning, Friday. I almost broke my sweet neck getting into work today and was featuring that ridiculous girl on the go wet head thing. Sad state of affairs. I did have lipstick on but otherwise...oy.

So as I was writing that post yesterday, I got an email from my dear friend with a link to Chloe Resort 2015 with the line, and I quote:

"Holy Mother of God"

I know from what she speaks. This pal and I share a love for cool girl fashion and were just lamenting the end of our (she calls it this) "Nuruyev" at Studio 54 era and the beginning of something more sculptured and angular. She too could relate to my lament about caring vs. not caring as she is the recent and proud mama of a fur baby of her very own. And since she lives in LA, my Brooklyn mom is her Santa Monica one. Either way, it's been bleak of late for women who don't necessarily want to look like a boho high priestess who dabble in the Stevie Nicks arts (not that there's a damn thing wrong with that). It's just that I'm into that look say, only once in a while, vs. every day.

So back to all things Chloe. Apparently the collection was based on Le Corbusier, that big daddy of modern architecture as we know it. And Vogue noted (quite true actually) that many designers reference architects when it comes to defining their pieces. But I think this collection smartly speaks to a bigger truth. Since Le Corbusier was more than instrumental in modern city planning and making life in urban areas better, it's not surprising that this collection restored my faith in clothes. These are just the most magic designs for city living, and further, big city living. According to Wikipedia, " Le Corbusier contributed to a new journal called L'Esprit Nouveau that advocated the use of modern industrial techniques and strategies to transform society into a more efficient environment with a higher standard of living on all socioeconomic levels. He forcefully argued that this transformation was necessary to avoid the spectre of revolution that would otherwise shake society". Um yea. That. These are clothes for that, and when they trickle down to the masses at stores like Zara and Cos who will surely copy them, l'esprit nouveau will be a real fait accompli. I realized looking at this collection that it's not that I've given up on fashion, it's just that I'm looking for something more efficient, more modern, and more level to accommodate my big city life.

Oh how I love this collection. All of it. Any of it. The mix of beautiful blues and greens that somehow seem neutral. The black and white pieces. The play on layering. The structure. These are clothes for everyone- not at this price point of course- but I love the ageless quality of these beautiful things- thank you Chloe for making clothes to inspire us- and by us I mean alllll of us.(You know who you are). 

Feast your eyes- there's not much here I wouldn't wear, and think my favorite is the one shouldered number above. So modern, clean, effortless, and sexy- and best of all- completely wearable and efficient. I'm so all in.

And since this is resort, it wouldn't be right not to play a bit with color and print. I have such a thing for a printed suit like the one above. It's just genius. And the colors are more whispering and less shouting, and in a city of gazillions, I love that. I don't need to shout so much, and what I love about New York is not that I can stand out, but that I can go chameleon style and just blend right in. Plus, I would pack all of these garments into a bag and go anywhere in them. Art Basel, Paris, Passaic. It matters not. Holy Mother of God indeed. I'll raise that with a Sweet Jesus. 

Cause that's what's up this can I get an amen for beautiful clothes that work kind of Friday in the 212? Yours, in chic city living. XO

Good afternoon, Thursday. If you happen to work in an office and don't care about the World Cup, now is your moment to really get some work done, because everything is at a complete standstill while fans of mine and yours gather around TVs and monitors to cheer on the good old US of A. I know it's exciting and hoping the home team wins this thing. I will admit that for the past few weeks, the collective orgasm/cheering section is a bit, well, much. (Every party has a pooper, dearies).

And speaking of being a party pooper, I've been meaning to talk with you all about something that's been plaguing me of late. I have an issue I may need an intervention to solve or maybe I need a pat on the back for a job well done. Either way, it's worth noting that lately, I have completely not given a crap about what I wear. Like, at all.

As you know, there's magazines sold on the basis of things like the "age" issue that gives you pointers on how to dress for the various decades of your life. I think when a woman starts thinking about what's age appropriate may differ for everyone, but for me, it happened a few years ago and continues to be something I occasionally think about. But then I have anxiety about it and just move on.

Now before you cry foul for me feeling bad about myself and not embracing my age, I don't feel bad and I do embrace my demography.Fortunately, I've always been a somewhat simple chic kind of girl- it's true my LBDs used to show a bit more of this and a bit more of that, but I'm still wearing them and will probably continue to do so for the rest of my years. So really, age appropriate dressing depends more on what's appropriate for you, and what's appropriate for me is a more simple palette when it comes to dress with some funky prints mixed in when I feel like it. It just makes life a whole lot easier. 

But then the neurotic part of me questions that. Is easy the way to go or is easy just lazy? The other night, David and I went to see Dave Chappelle at Radio City Music Hall. For many (including us), this was a pretty big night out- the second coming of a huge talent in a beautiful setting.  As I looked around at the crowd, I felt a bit smug, wondering why all of the ladies there had bothered to wear such high heels and outfits more akin to, say, a night out in Miami than an evening in New York.  Thing is, here in New York, it's kind of cooler to not get dressed up than to get dressed up, if that makes sense. Somehow I find it chicer to wear jeans and sneakers to a night out, but maybe I'm kidding myself.

Because when I looked down at my own outfit, it made me feel weird.

Let's start with my hair. I had it back in a ponytail, tied with an elastic from Pure Barre.  (Newsflash, Rosenberg. You're not at the gym). Next, my ratty black tee shirt was a good one (Alexander Wang) but really , it was not the freshest one I could find, just an old favorite that suited my going to work on a Summery Friday in advertising kind of vibe. Oh, and an old black blazer that could benefit from a visit to the tailor to repair some pesky liner that was creeping down past its hem.  It just gets worse from here.

On my lower half? A pair of Rag and Bone pajama jeans. Yup. Have you seen these? They are totally beyond genius but wear them a few times and it surely looks like you've got a load back there. Not the cutest look. Plus, I sat in chocolate earlier in the day and did not have time to change. Yea, I know. Adorable.

On my feet? A simple pair of black sandals. Very, very flat barely there black sandals with an ankle strap from Kenneth Cole. Very minimal and cute but not terribly exciting. Certainly not stilettos and not even a wedge. Nada. Bupkus. I'm a mess. A mess with a nice pedicure (some things are sacred), but still kind of a mess.

So as I checked myself out in the bathroom before the show started, I felt a strange mix of stuff. First, I wondered how I managed to completely avoid the notion that I had big plans after work, and how I should have dressed accordingly for a date with my husband. Then I thought that just because I am well within an age group where everyone has kids, I don't. Who did I think I was dressing like a Brooklyn mother of three?  How could I have screwed this up after years of carefully planned outfits?  Where oh where was my mind, not to mention a non elastic waist?  I had no excuse other than sheer laziness to account for my rather tepid outfit. I felt worried.  Was my binge watching of "Orange is the New Black" coupled with my bear hug embrace of normcore and 90s minimalism catching up with me? Merde.

But then I had another thought- maybe it's empowering as a woman to jus say WTF and wear what's comfortable. There's something liberating abut it really- wearing a crap hair tie and some loose jeans is maybe a lot cooler than sausaging into some crazy outfit that looks like you're trying too hard. Perhaps when you get older, trying too hard is not a good look. Maybe chic basics with gobs of confidence as the perfect accessory is the perfect accessory. Maybe after years of obsessing about one's appearance it was time to call a truce with my body image and wavering self esteem. And as I looked around the bathroom and watched some twentysomething drunk on beer stumble around in sky high Louboutins and a pair of high waisted shorts that looked like they were devouring her lady parts, I felt better. After all, I was only mildly buzzed on Shark Tank Chard, and wearing comfortable shoes I could actually walk in, so there. I'm not tryin' for all that. And a life without camel toe is a pretty good life.

So how to remedy this strange sorry/not sorry approach I've taken to dressing of late? I'm not sure. But I'm taking baby steps and there's some things that still show I care- like a  crazy intense skincare regime at the end of the day that is straight up Eastern European gymnast in its rigor but keeps my skin looking glowy and fresh. I've entered some ridiculous challenge at Pure Barre where I take 20 classes in 30 days (I'm 17 in and counting). Or custom making a lipstick at the Bite Bar in Soho for a little lift from the monotony of figuring out what to wear to work every day as I break my neck to get ready quickly after an early workout and lunch preparation. Or maybe it's just realizing that it wouldn't kill me to put on a high heel from time to time, as horrid as that may seem. But as far as those ratty old tees and my favorite broken down blazer, I just can't right now.  you'll be happy to know I just bought two pairs of real jeans from Level 99 that are neat and have a great fit. 

I think this whole issue is an interesting one. I'm well aware that using what you got to get what you want is the way of the world, it's just I have some different "gots" now than I used to have and I'm cool with it (not to mention different priorities). It's The elastic pants , however, are up for discussion. I'm willing to listen, though they do look pretty damn cool. Sort of. Now if I start wearing an oversized tee shirt with either Tweety bird or a bikini body on it, call the 5-0. I hope to never go too far down the comfort rabbit hole to wear anything that's just plain WRONG- whether you're 25 or 75. And all kidding aside, I love the neon sentiment in the photo above which perfectly sums up this whole post- forget the rules and wear what you like. For all is fair in love and fashion. 

And that's what's up this dress me up, dress me down kind of Thursday in the 212.  Hey, questioning one's style equity is better than buying a convertible, right? Yours, in midlife.  XO

Good morning, Wednesday. It's humid and hot and gloomy outside- three of my least favorite things. Oh, well. Good thing I'm just hanging out in an office today. Hunkering down like what.

So I've got a little playa respite happening in a few weeks- going to one of my most yummy places, Rehoboth Beach in Delaware. I'm sure you weren't expecting me to say that about a place in Delaware, but I have mad love for this awesome beach town that has a killer boardwalk with skee ball, a funhouse, and vinegar laced french fries. I love eating hardshell crabs on a picnic table, and having a sea breeze at Obie's, and taking a morning bike ride. It's such a lovely place and I'm looking forward to a few days of fun in the sun. And though a trip to Rehoboth does not require a degree of high chic like a trip to the Hamptons or St. Tropez might, a girl's still gotta look cute, am I right?

So as I was perusing my emails this am as I broke my neck to get to the office for an early meeting (which subsequently got cancelled), I was curious to check out Barneys New York recommends for "Summer Shop Travel Essentials". As a woman who's a sucker for travel related purchases, I was excited to see their picks. Oy. I'm probably not going to be buying a cashmere travel blanket for $795. and Mark Cross's leather rolling trolley is not going to roll its way into my life for just shy of two grand. But I do love this little cheeky beach bag from Lisa Perry, she of the vintage/modish inspired fashion brand. This bag ticks off a lot of boxes for me (simple, boldy geometric, black and white, sturdy canvas) and I'm a huge fan of the interior, which is leather and has the perfect sunny attitude for a day at the beach by saying a warm "HELLO".  How can you not love a cute bag that's not only chic but friendly?  It also comes in pink with orange, and yellow with white. Adorable. I'd like one now please. I'd wear this all summer, and not just to the beach. It's a good piece for schlepping around all over town- from picnics in Brooklyn Bridge Park to after work barre classes. Circle gets the square indeed.

And that's what's up this well toted Wednesday. Yours, in the road well styled. XO

Link to purchase here.

Good afternoon, Tuesday. It's lovely outside and not too hot or too cold and I'm digging it. Met a friend for lunch in Soho and ideas are just in the air, aren't they? Everyone I know wants to do something new, reinvent, and get really creative. I'm not at all opposed, and I'm all ears. Hit me up if you want to change the game a little, or a lot. I'm down.

But it's the mens shows in Milan and I wanted to chat with you for a few about Miuccia Prada, she who makes my heart sing. Miuccia is one of those people that just gets it- she understands culture and trends and moment in time in a way that is just transcendent. I love the risks she takes and the message she sends- she's so much more than nylon bags and duty free wallets- she's a true fashion visionary well worth emulating and admiring when it comes to being a true artist.

So the Prada collection was just so cool- a real revelation. I was so struck with how she took what's happening in the world of gender and translated it into something for the runway- his and hers and back again. She understands that women want to wear men's clothes, yet also want to feel whatever is their version of feminine- that could be a man's shirt, that could be a dress, it could be a combination of both. To me, these looks may appear prim and proper (which I love), but what they say is so much more- we are, as a people, evolving beyond classic gender roles and I for one am digging these post androgynous looks, because we live in a time where more and more people are coming forward to share their brave stories of overcoming gender stigmas and challenge. In 2014 and beyond, it's not so much about being this or that, it's more about just keeping it real and living in one's own skin, whatever that may be. 

The Prada camp has done it again with a runway full of fantastic piece that play with tradition but live very much in the present. No vulgarity, nothing lewd, no drama whatsoever- just really lovely and demurely pieces that can live in a grown up  world where boys will be girls and vice versa and whatever else you may have going on. Style.com's review of the show called attention to the notion of "pandrogeny" or gender neutrality - I think it's less about neutrality and more about tolerance and gender inclusiveness or really, be whoever you want to be. Sure these clothes are sedate and a bit stoic, but I love their uniformity and crispness.

Either way, I loved that she showed  clothes for both men and women this week- leave it to Miuccia Prada to always be one step ahead, yet right where we need to be. Cause that's what's up this be who you are kind of Tuesday in the 212. Yours, in fashion forward understanding. XO

Good morning, Monday. What a lovely weekend it was in the city- David had to work which was a bummer but Khan and I took some time to regroup and hang in my favorite local park and do chill stuff like read the paper and watch the people. We (David and I) went to see Dave Chapelle Friday night (meh) and then yesterday afternoon I went to a lovely little afternoon birthday fete, where some lovely ladies chowed down on fried chicken and the most insanely delicious doughnuts from Doughnut Plant. A doughnut is a food group I can abstain from and holds no kryptonite for me, but these were simply out of this world. That cream filled orange blossom doughnut? Absolutely to die for. Even better? Eating foods like this with some lady pals in a sweet Brooklyn backyard accompanied with great conversation and an Aperol spritz. Loveliness all around.

And boy am I glad I wore a cute little voluminous dress yesterday from Meg, a favorite girly go to spot of mine because the lovely ladies who work there  are super awesome, and they dote upon the Khan man relentlessly (his favorite chair shown above) .  It's a very cute shop for locally made frocks that are more femmed up than my usual, but they make great basics as well and they even custom tailor and create if you are so inclined. Meg has a few locations around town if you're not familiar, but they do some great basic dress shapes that have become my "go to" Summer slip ons. I wish I had a pic of it, but I scored an amazing flowy dress from there that is lovely- with a keyhole neckline that ties at the neck. I love this little dress so much, and what I love most about it (besides it being on sale) is the pattern- an elegant swiss dot.

For those of you not familiar, swiss dot is a pattern, which according to Wikipedia, was created in Switzerland (what you thought Bangladesh?) around 1750. It's that lovely little dotted lace that is generally the same hue as the garment itself, making for a subtle feminine silhouette used on everything from children's dresses to bridal and back again. I find it incredibly hot on stockings- a dotted stocking is not to be trifled with. Ask any men and they'll tell you. Meow.

Anyhow, a swiss dotted confection is spot on perfect for Summer time dressing- something a little more girly is the prettiest when the days are long. I love it when used on a caftan/beach cover up like the Lisa Marie Fernandez number from Net a Porter above- a perfect throw on over a bathing suit or a great dress for evening when worn with a slip underneath or a simple black bralette and a half slip. I love how Amanda Seyfried interpreted the look, this dress from Gucci Resort 2014 and so over the top glam. What a beautiful skirt length- big fan- sexy yet subtle and with a red lip- perfection.

And although my Meg dress is black (duh), I do so love the freshness of white to make a swiss dot piece feel even more sunny and pretty. The piece above is from Malia Mills, and it's a great tunic take that feels light and airy, while the tuxedo shirt below is old school J. Crew and gives a ladylike edge to a more masculine tuxedo shirt.

Oh and since it's June and wedding season and such- how gorgeous is a veil in Swiss dot? Love. Beautiful with the glow of marital bliss.

But one of my fav little Swissy Missy items are these fabulous espadrilles, on sale now at Zara. How cute are they with a knee length full skirt or boyfriend jean or I don't know, EVERYTHING? Love, and at under $40, they are almost free.

So what have we learned about these old fashioned dots from Switzerland? They're anything but and up the sweet and sexy Summer thing by a yard. And that's what's up this spotty Monday in the 212. Yours, in dotting the I's and such...XO

Good morning, Freaky Friday. I say it's Freaky Friday because Mercury is still in damn retrograde and I wish it would just go home already. I've already cracked my phone and nothing else seems to be working so there you have it.

So I was walking through Soho this am to meet an old friend of mine for breakfast at another old friend of sorts, Balthazar. I'm telling you it's worth all the craziness and chaos and expense in the world that living in this city creates to be able to walk through Soho early in the morning to have breakfast there. I always get that perfect omelette they have with the fresh herbs and those insanely delicious buttery potatoes. I love it there in the wee small hours when nobody is around- perfect spot for solo breakfast indulgence or catch up with a friend.

It was lovely to see this pal of mine, and I realize that being in this neighborhood for this freelance gig is a real gift. Lately I've been feeling a bit rudderless (still do but...) and being in Soho, strange as this may sound, makes me feel grounded. I lived in this neighborhood for years and although it is now a giant mall and has been for some time, there are pockets of it that still feel so comforting and special. It's magic. So what's with the pink furry coat you may ask?

I found this pic the other day and it spoke to me. First, I love pink. Second, I love fake fur. Third, it represents the way I feel when I walk through Soho on a sunny Summer day- warm, happy, and somehow protected from, well, everything and everywhere else. The way the sun hits the buildings here and the quiet mornings before all the tourists come for cronuts (they were already queued up at 8 am but whatever) and Starbucks becomes overcrowded with the workforce is pure pink furry magic.

So to me, downtown Nuevo Yorko and Soho in particular is like a warm, fuzzy coat. A pink one- because pink is pretty and soft and brings out the less edgy all black everything side of myself. Thanks to Soho, I'm having a severe case of the warm fuzzies, and I don't mind one bit. I hope you're in a nice warm spot that makes you feel protected too. Mine will somehow always be this little pocket of overpriced but so beautiful goodness, particularly between West Broadway and Sixth Avenue.

And that's what's up this in my happy place kind of Friday in Soho. Yours, in early morning light- if you ever want to do early breakfast at Balthazar, I'll be there, in my proverbial pink coat. XO

Good morning, Thursday. It's Gloomy Gus in Manhattan today and we're in the throes of Summer already- humidity a plenty and I swear I'm allergic to it. I'm happy to be in the a/c but really I feel kind of achy and tired and unsettled. Argh.

And as many of you know, Summer is a fabulous time to change up your beauty products- and right now I'm in love with Tatcha, a product line created by a savvy Harvard Business school grad who went to Kyoto and discovered the real memoirs of the Geisha- their incredible beauty regime, particularly when it comes to skincare and purifying products that cleanse the skin and bring it back to its natural state. 

Weird as that may sound, the product line is beyond amazing. I love the body butter but my new favorite thing is the skin mist- think Evian spritzer but with super pretty benefits. I'm not even sure what's in this little misty miracle but it's the perfect product to spray on your face after you put your makeup on in the am, and also a nice little pick me up in the afternoon if you have plans after work but are not about to redo your whole face. I know some of you out there are more matte types, but for me, nothing says Summer like pretty, glowy skin and I'm all about a dewy visage, particularly because my skin skews more dry than oily. Big fan of this and you will be too.

At just under $50, it seems like an expensive little mister, but think of it as more of a finishing product/hydrator for tired skin in need of a lift. Make like the geisha and spritz away. 

And that's what's up this fresh faced Thursday in the 212. Yours, in glowy goodness. XO

Tatcha Luminous Dewy Skin Mist, $48 available at Barneys New York

Hi, Monday Monday. Can't trust that day or so the song goes...

So it was a lovely weekend and I'm currently freelancing downtown in Soho 'bout a block from my old rent controlled crib on Sixth Avenue. Needless to say, the old neighborhood continues to become more aggressively 1% by the second. And though my current neighborhood in Brooklyn has more construction sites than not, I'm still always a little bit sad when places you used to count on no longer exist. There's something about fav haunts closing that make a New Yorker feel extra mortal. See ya, Milady's. Not sure why but that one still stings.

One thing that doesn't change in Soholand is the dominance of shopping as preferred sport. So many tourists, and so little time for that. And since shopping is an athletic endeavor in this neighborhood, it stands to reason that sales staff in all of these spendy stores are in it to win it (and perhaps get all kinds of Brienne of Tarth on your ass (GOTS fans, you know what that means).

And when it comes to games of thrones of the retail variety, I'd say the DKNY store over on West Broadway takes the crown. 

There's many a moment when, oh, I don't know, I'm in the mood for an organic cotton tee shirt, a pair of oversized black pants, or one of a million black schmattas that could skew very quickly into menopausal art teacher land, but somehow can also be super cute if worn well. But every time I go in this store, I get ambushed. Everybody who works in this store is out for blood, and wild eyed and filled with thoughts of pillaging your wallet- and they can smell fear. Since DKNY's brand values have always stood for this city itself- I shouldn't be surprised that the team over there is aggressive, in your face, and INTENSE. 

But clearly I'm a glutton who never learns, because today at lunch I took a walk around Soho, enjoying the weather and the sunshine and the good sandals everywhere. On a whim II popped into DKNY, looking for a schmattah or two when, like clockwork, I got attacked from a crazy eyed lady who proceeded to pile items of clothing into a dressing room and before I knew it, I had my little mini bottle of Poland Spring and an enormous (and non air conditioned) dressing room chock full of separates. There were weird yellow trousers, billowy dresses that felt like birth control, and something shinyish with a balloon hem (I hate a balloon hem). The jersey harem pants I had come for were somehow lost in a sea of "funky" pieces that I simply did not need, want, or like. But these ladies in that store will find a way to get you to try it all on, while they incessantly knock on your dressing room door and say things like "can I see anything?" or "can i get you a size?" or "what are you liking?" As a shopper who usually knows what she wants, I find this to be worse than most criminal offenses. Leave me alone you spindly curled, wild eyed, yoga bodied and carb starved DKNY lady. Leave. Me. Alone. You're making me feel weird.

I remember a dear pal of mine going in there years ago, innocently enough, and coming out with about three of those "cozy" sweaters that she was coerced into buying (you know the one- that wrappy number that's great but EVERYWHERE). I'll never forget watching her get attacked by a draped and swaddled saleswoman, who draped and swaddled my friend like she was the baby Jesus. And just like that, a portion of your rent is gone, and all you have are three sweaters you don't even want to wear when you have your period. Sigh.

I'm telling you this story as a cautionary tale- it's tempting to come to Soho and shop bop and eat cupcakes and spot celebrities, but please stay aware from DKNY, unless your plan is to part with beaucoup dollars and get attacked by black clad zombies with lots of chunky accessories. As for those harem pants, the system was down and they couldn't sell them to me. I put them on hold so as the lady would not have a stroke, but I ain't goin' back for 'em. DKNY I do like you, but your stalkerati salesforce really brings me down. Call off your dogs, would you?

And that's what's up this sell, sell, sell kind of Monday in the can't be bought isle of Manhattan. Yours, in who needs another pair of black hammer pants anyway? (May look for them online later). XO

Hi, Thursday. Oh, I see Mercury's in retrograde. Well that explains it. Hmph.

Here's a photo shot by Phillip Townsend from the 1960s in London that sums up my mood. As Mercury frolics with my composure and calm, I'm just going to greet it with a simple "cheers". What else can one do really but drink and get your hair done with friends? You feeling the burn too, right? Thought so.

Cause that's what's up this Throwback/Throw up Thursday in the 212. Yours, in wishful balance, but until such time, wine. XO