the world according to sherimaven

Hi Monday....late to the party I know but Khan and I had to enjoy this gorgeous day and go on a long saunter through the neighborhood. Too nice out to be indoors- heaven's weather, really.

Anyway, this weekend had me really feeling my love for New York- the hubs and I walked all over the city, went to galleries, bumped into an artist whose painting we happen to own, ate open faced omelettes at Freeman's, sucked down some artisanal salted caramel ice cream and checked out cool vintage dresses at the Hester Street Fair,  drank buckets of wine with someold  friends we had over for dinner on Saturday night, and David hooked us all up with an amazingly good lasagna.

Needless to say, Sunday found me a bit wrecked- and I had a training session with my (very) patient personal trainer lady that morning. Languid and lazy, I reluctantly got out of bed and went to the session- much to my surprise I did well and did not feel as bad as I thought, though the jumping jacks were ill advised- I assure you they do not go with pinot noir, especially the day after you drink it.

But I got to talking with this trainer, who switched gears later in life and became a trainer and nutritionist after years of being a high school principal. I think that's awesome in itself but what's even more awesome is how we both realized that women are entirely too tough on themselves- as a female trainer, she told me she couldn't even count the number of women that come to her who are so unhappy with their bodies, and alas, unhappy with themselves. This is sad on so many levels- though I am not built like I was when I was 25, I would not return to that era of my life for ANYTHING- I know many women freak out when they get older and gravity and salted caramel ice cream are a powerful foil to extreme vanity, but for me, I'm way happier and more solid now. I'm not shitting you- I really am, and think it's time for women to just get over themselves and realize that while being thin is a wonderful thing, it's not the only thing. Not even close.

I'm proud of the fact that I married someone who helped us move back to New York with his job relocation, who would never in a million years be critical of my looks, and who supports all of my whims and Lucy Ricardo-like shemes and quirks. More importantly, I respect the fact that it's way more important to think of your body as something you want to keep healthy- it's not necessarily about being a size 00, it's more about how you feel in that body than the size of your skinny jeans. Take that with you today, ladies- if you focus on wanting to be healthy and less on the weight, the rest of your life will probably follow suit- it's healthy to eat ice cream once in a while, it's healthy to explore new places and face new challenges, and it's healthy to be with someone who never makes you feel bad about yourself. And no pair of shrunken J Brands will do that for you, I guarantee it. 

In light of Ashley Judd's recent piece on how f'ed we women are and how even more f'ed the media is for feeding into our insecurities, I urge you to take another look at yourself, and not necessarily in the mirror- look more about what you've achieved, how you're able to walk into a room and own it, and how maybe some younger women will look to you one day, if they haven't already, for how to get there- sure it's unfortunate that your body looks best at a time in your life when everything else is so out of whack, but whatever- it's a gorgeous day here in New York City and I for one am grateful for long walks on leafy streets- if you start noticing that stuff and forget about picking yourself apart, happiness will surely follow. I felt so crappy about myself when I went to the gym Sunday morning- I could have easily let it all defeat me, but instead I focused on the good conversation and need to just get through it so I could enjoy the day. And as we begin another work week where surely someone or something or some bit of jiggle on your thigh will set you off today, take stock of the stuff that overrides all of it- if you're lucky enough to be healthy, safe, in a place where you enjoy freedom, and are able to support yourself, you're doing way better than you think. Stop beating yourself up and get out there and enjoy yourself- we all know life's too short. Cause that's what's up this be kind to yourself kind of Monday in beautiful Brooklyn. All the love for a great week, and just let it be for once, would you? You're way prettier when you just let yourself be happy and enjoy this thing called life .XO

Ooh Friday- loves it. Hubs got home last night from a work trip and I am so happy he's here for the weekend- looking forward to doing a bit of exploring this weekend- oh, and on the subject of that other blog I'm doing- it's Wordpress and since I was sort of "auditioning" material there, I need to repost some of the posts so they are in proper date order- don't ask. You'll see it all next week, and I would love feedback on it- for those of you too curious to wait, the topic is all about being happy as a freelancer, and what it means to realize that maybe some of us are not super content to do just one thing for the rest of our lives...you'll see. In other news, I blew out my third pair of headphones at the gym today while listening to Guns and Roses. It happens.

Anyhoo, back to the task at hand. A bit of fiveness for Friday. Today I decided to go with a custom New York version, as I know many of my friends from all over have now taken up residence in the city much like myself, and may be looking for stuff to do. And if you already live here, you still need stuff to do, ya big know it all, so check out this list- it's the art edition PS- after all, you didn't move to New York City to simply pay gobs of money for rent did you? So here we go, Five for Friday, the art nerd edition- adjust your Moscots people and take a gander- it's going to be a good time:

Alex Prager at Yancey Richardson- Sigh. A few Basels ago at either Scope, Pulse, or Nada (the subshows that feature more emerging types), I had a chance to buy an Alex Prager, and though it was not cheap, it was within reach and I should have gotten it. I am simply in love with her Hitchcockian take on fashion and life- it's well worth checking out her show at Yancey (that one in the middle above breaks my heart in two)- her pop cultural nods to the heroines of the 50s and 60s feel brand spanking new somehow- there's also a bit of a Warhol chick moment that streams through all of her stuff- and needless to say, iconic chicks that are a bit f'ed up are just my cup of tea. Love her stuff. Definitely going to check this out.

"A Rolling Stone" at Porter Contemporary- This looks rad. According to the description on Time Out, "Eight artists—including Jason Bryant, Naoto Hattori and TWOONE—worked with the well-known iconography of the Rolling Stones, as well as the proverb “A rolling stone gathers no moss,” to create the pieces in this group show that pays homage to the band". Um yea. I gotta see this, and since I own a Jason Bryant piece, it's important I check this show out. I heart him. And unless you don't know me at all, you know I love my Stones.

Gilbert and George at Lehman Maupin-  I am a big fan of  G&G and always have been- their weird self portraits encased in a stained glass fantasty world are a lot of fun to look at. In their first show in New York since 2004 (the year I left here), we're treated to a show that is a bit of a trifecta- at both Lehman Maupin locales and at Sonnabend. The show is inspired by London, and I am sure it's going to be a great ode to the Brits as well as a cool show for Manhattan. Can't wait.

David Shrigley's huge billboard over the High Line- This is more of a walk by than a go see, but I'm curious to see one of my favorite sketchy types take over a 25 by 75 foot billboard above the lovely High Line- the subject is "How are you Feeling", and in true Shrigley form, he answers with sarcasm and darkness. Needless to say, New Yorkers will love this.

Matthew Pillsbury at Bonnie Benrubi- Tomorrow is the last day of this photogpraher's show which explores how humans interact with New York City- all the classic spots are shown - Washington Square Park, dim sum spots in Chinatown, and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade- I suspect this is a great show from a photographer under 40 who is getting a lot of buzz.

So that's your arty five for the weekend my friends...I believe all of these are free, so you're welcome. And if you're not an art type, go check out the Hester Street Fair this weekend down on the LES- it's got loads of yummy food and vintage and is a good time- as is the fact that Heathers is playing at a movie theater in Williamsburg, Brand Nubian is playing S.O.B.s Sunday night, and Squeeze is at the Beacon on Saturday...gotta love New York doncha just? Cause that's what's up this gallery hopping kind of Friday in the 718. All the love and have a great and well cultured weekend. XO

Good afternoon Wednesday, it's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I keep from goin' under. Yea, I'm quoting Grandmaster Flash. What's your point? It is a jungle out there, of this I know.

And living in said jungle requires a practical, yet chic wardrobe. I read a piece yesterday heralding the return of the denim jacket, which makes my fashionable heart sing (the Rag and Bone leather sleeved number above is one of my favs of the season). I am a huge fan of a good denim jacket- the perfect little piece to stick over a cute dress or stow in your carry on for chilly flights- and justlook how cute the chick above looks with her red umbrella, fuzzy coat, and pop 'o denim underneath. Effortless and perfect, non?

Another trend I've been digging is the very cool reissue of the denim vest- I know it's possible to look more like a Happy Days flunkie when wearing this look- but it's coolness can't be underestimated. But if you're a girl like me who happens to be built more like Christina Hendricks on the top half than January Jones, vest are a tricky business. That's why I am obsessed with Phillip Lim's (yea, I'm pretty much obsessed with EVERYTHING Phillip Lim) take on the denim vest- an oversized version that aches for a cool belt and a cooler attitude.

At the risk of sounding like a Dr. Seuss book, I'd wear this vest with a dress, I'd wear this vest with a skirt, I'd wear this vest with a tee shirt and flowy hippy pants. I have no doubt that the likes of Zara will do their thing with this look and make it more wallet friendly, but until I see a reasonable knock off, I'm lusting for this one, and scheming as we speak how I can buy it, and the 31 Hour bag to boot (I'm telling you, that damn bag is taunting me. I just saw it in the sickest navy/purple color and dying a slow death over its awesomeness). I love the toughness of this vest, but it's generous shape is not going to smother you. And if you're worried about looking like a 50s greaser type, fear not. This piece feels somehow more Warriors era NYC (this is a good thing) than Milwaukee. Oh and did I mention this little sleeveless wonder turns into a backpack? GENIUS. 

So I'm going to keep wishing and hoping I can have this amazing vest- I am dying to wear it with a skinny knee length Alex Wang jersey tank dress or with something super girly and filmy underneath and high heeled booties. How I love a femme/homme mix. I'm crushing and I'm crushing hard. Maybe I'll get crafty and buy a vintage men's Levi's jacket of epic proportion and hack off the sleeves and get DIY on it.  Cause that's what's up this don't push me cause I'm close kind of Wednesday in the mean streets of NYC. Dress accordingly, you sexy little urbanite you. XO

Good evening, Monday. Just did a quick tour of Miami (24 hours) for a wedding of some old friends of mine...lovely time with them and many others I haven't seen in ages. I'm back in NYC and feeling energized by the Miami sun- came back to some serious gloom here in town, but I'm cool with it because I love the lethargy I've license to embrace on days such as these.

In other news, I was reading one of my fashion mags on the plane and came across a wonderful new line called the Promise Collection Tommy Hilfiger did to benefit and promote sustainable communities in Africa- he's donating 100% of the proceeds to boot.

I for one am not a rabid Tommy fan- his brightly hued preppiness has never been my cup of darjeeling but man- these are some cute pieces for sure. As a big fan of ethnic inspired pieces, especially in the warmer months, the gear shown above would suit up your summer with style, and with great intentions to boot. I have no idea why these pieces are not available stateside PS- if they are I can't access them but found these looks on Tommy's UK site (the press release says they're avail in the states but maybe they sold out). I especially am keen on that maxi dress, which would be chic with a big straw hat and a tan and some wedges or cute flat sandals.

I love this departure for Tommy- some cute men's swim trunks available as well- well done, Mr. Hilfiger. Now that you've finally found me something to wear, don't fail me when it comes to making good on the socially minded side of things, cause that's what's up this giving Monday in the 718. All the love. XO Link below to read about the effort and the clothes, and yes, that's Katie Holmes:

http://eu.tommy.com/hilfiger/millennium-promise,default,pg.html

Heya Friday- I gotta say- it's insanely gorgeous in New York today and I'm looking forward to bopping around the city for a minute or two later- going to check out the vintage clothing show as well as help a friend shoe shop (I know, I know- I'm such an altruist. The things I do for my friends...). I'm not trying to be lazy, it's just super convenient that a post I wrote for my pal Heather Elder, a photo rep, was published on her blog yesterday. The post was five tips (see, convenient) for going freelance, and it was a real treat to be able to write that one. Next week, I'm unveiling my new blog on such matters (yes, that's a hint), so stay tuned for that...my plan is to post three days a week on this one, and two days a week on that one. My public demands a daily post. I can't help it. 

So without further yammering, here is a link to the post I wrote about freelance life- for those that have read it already,  I apologize, but if you haven't please do so...it's a fun piece about the trials and tribs of flying solo. I realized all my fiver posts skew towards consumption, so this one is more about taking the leap and keeping sane when embarking upon a freelance life- fives come in all forms, and not just the retail therapy kind. Cause that's what's up this good thing I like to fly kind of Friday in the beautiful Northeast. All the love for a wonderful weekend, friends. All the love. XO

https://elderrep.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/five-for-freelance-life-some-tips-f...

Good morning, Wednesday. Here you are- have to say the weather today is more in line with what I think of when I think of early Spring- a slight chill but a warming trend that makes a girl feel hopeful. Ah, just right.

And you know what else is right? That new show "Girls" on HBO, now in the lineupfor HBO's Sunday night must see programming. It just premiered this weekend and I found it to be exceptional. Lena Dunham, who is its reluctant star also wrote and directed the whole shebang, and although I am no longer a twentysomething living in New York, I loved the portrayal of that point in time. It's true like most of us with lady parts I was a big, big fan of "Sex and the City".  I loved the love affair it had with my city, the fashion, the style, and the liberation and license it gave to being single in your 30s as a Manhattanette. But let's face it- Carrie and company lived lives that none of us were living- the shoes, the endless array of couture, the chi chi cocktails every night amongst friends. What I love about "Girls" is that it rings true- the lead character is not a stick figure, she struggles with self confidence and her place in life, and portrays a side of living in New York that is so bloody true- full of pretentious people, weird boyfriends, and self deprecation. A friend of mine who is a super smart lady commented that she found the effusive attention to the lead character's less than perfect physique was distracting, but I found it spot on in terms of how obsessed we are with our shape in this day and age. It ain't easy being a woman in this society with a few extra pounds- and the fact that her best pal is a waify thing only adds to the angst that comes from feeling the pressure that comes with being a little fuller in the figure.

And I know many took issue with the fact that these kiddie poos should stop whining and whinging and just get a job- but we all know how hard that is to cop in this day and age, so to me, the parental support rings true when real jobs are few and far between. Plus the angsty laziness of these kids is a nice break from the Type A ra ra super positive millenials I get a little bored with. Sorry, millenials. I'm more of an angst ridden X type. Are these characters likable like Carrie and her crew? Nah. Not really. But I'm somehow rooting for the lead chick to stop screwing around with sordid men (I had to turn away from the sex scene) and overcome her parental dependence. And who says we always have to like characters anyway?

I hope the show sustains the unique combination it crafted in the first episode- portraying the struggle to find work in New York so you can eat yet still living a bit of a bougie life full of dinner parties, designer drugs, and pretentious people that talk about pretentious things. SATC never really showed the darker side of New York life- of struggling for work, being uncomfortable in your skin, or wearing outfits that don't come from the pages of Vogue (the first episode of 'Girls' gave more than a nod to Carrie and the gang ps). This show is one for the next generation of girls coming up in New York, and although those of you that don't relate to its particular brand of angst, I for one found it a revelation and look forward to more episodes of my new favorite show. Diablo Cody- why aren't you making things like this? Juno to me was in the same genre, non?

Regardless of whether you relate more to chicks in Blahniks than chicks in Buffalo Exchange, watch this show. It's a cool take on the struggle that happens in New York when mommy and daddy cut the cord and how women stay in relationships with men that are less than spectacular. That's what most of my twenties were about anyway, though I will admit I had some pretty great moments prancing around New York in my fashionable best a la Carrie as well...'tis all for now. Watch "Girls" if you can- it's a goodie. And that's what's up this girls will be women one day kind of Wednesday in the 212. All the love and XO to all my girlies out there...

Good morning, Monday. I am at the bitter end of this cold thank goodness. It's been a rough week of sickness but think I am on the mend. Needless to say, I have not been to the gym in a week and feeling a bit depleted- perhaps I shall insert a feeding tube a la this piece in the Times yesterday- what in the hell is wrong with people? Seriously? To lose 15 pounds to fit into a strapless Vera Wang? People have officially lost their shit. (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/fashion/weddings/Losing-Weight-in-Time-for-...

Despite my sickness this morning, I went with David to buy a suit this weekend; he needed a new one for a wedding we have next weekend (yes, we still get invited to those). And I gotta tell you, I was thanking the sweet Lord above that I am not a man as we hit the stores. I was shocked at how expensive mens suits are- and it's pretty tough to get away with a suit that's not pricey, because they not only look bad, they are cut really poorly. I can't believe how much easier it is for us girls to stroll into a store like H&M if we don't have full pockets and buy a dress for under $50 that we can wear to any snazzy occasion and still look fabulous. I'm not sure men have as much luck when it comes to dressing up on a budget.

For example, we found ourselves at the Brooklyn Flea yesterday on the Willamsburg waterfront (which strangely felt a bit like Brickell) and I purchased a vintage sheer black number with a great ruffled skirt for $30 that I am seriously considering wearing next weekend, in addition to any number of options I already have in my closet ranging from an not so cheap Alice and Olivia one shouldered job to a vintage floor length Indian dress to a great Cynthia Vincent maxi that I found on guilt. Hey, men, apparently it's your world (James Brown said so), so somebody should probably take care of the fact that unless you want to look like a junior mafioso, you're not getting a good suit for under the price of a monthly lease on a new Audi. I think that's crazy. And don't even get me started on men's shoes- the prices are out of control- for a good pair of lace ups that have some style, you're easily going to spend $300. In the battle of the sexes, this is an area where we clearly win. Boys if you know otherwise, please enlighten me. 

And speaking of enlightenment, I read a great piece in the UK Telegraph  this weekend about how men fail all on fronts when it comes to complimenting women (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9203674/A-mans-guide-... . In fact, the wrong compliment, though well intentioned, can often feel more like an insult.

The gaffes range from telling a woman she is "curvy" (um, don't ever do that) to, and I quote, "you're not as stupid as you look" are proof positive that men are clueless when it come to knowing what to say to women when it comes to a showering of praise. It's interesting that both my husband and a Facebook friend of mine (I posted the article there) both said that it's simply not necessary to constantly compliment women- talk to them like they are normal (as in not so different than men) and you'll do much better. My friend went even further to say you're always safe if you compliment a woman on her shoes or her nails, and I think there's real truth in that. Also a simple "you look great today" (thanks, David) would suffice. I have my own thoughts on compliments, which to me become really important after you've been married for a while, when you need a bit of confirmation that you "still have it". Then again, after last night's "Mad Men" (great episode about masculinity ps) where a super butch Don Draper, stripped down to a white tee shirt, fixes Pete Campbell's kitchen sink when it sprung a leak, geyser like, in the middle of a dinner party. Although I have taken issue with Don's alpha male loutishness in the past, I have to say- save your self the tedious and awkward pause that will ensue when you say the wrong thing and just fix a woman's sink in your tee shirt. In my mind, that's the biggest compliment of all.

Cause that's what's up this mannish manic Monday in the 718. All the love and you all look fabulous and skinny and hyper intelligent today. Oh, and nice shoes. XO

But sickness and tissue strewn bed aside, it's that time again, and because my 10th round of Theraflu is about to kick in and render me useless, I give you Five for Friday:

Argan oil- As you all know by now, I'm a bit of a product junkie, and occasionally, all of this self imposed testing backfires. I was in LA last week and bought the Maelin and Goetz travel set, thinking I'd have everything I need for a short trip and not have to start transporting all of my usual cleansers and toners into small little bottles. I really should have taken the time to do that. Although I am a fan of the brand's deodorant, their grapefruit cleanser and the Vitamin E Face moisturizer are so not good for me. In fact, they burnt my face to the point of looking like I either made out with a porcupine or was the victim of some sort of facially motivated acid attack. Let me tell you, was not fun flying home with a face that was burny and itchy and generally yuck. To cure this ill, I went to my fav local beauty store, Shen, which sells organic products and whom I've shouted out before. I bought some pure Argan oil, the ingredient inside all of those Moroccan Oil hair products, but this was just the oil, and nothing more. Sure my face smelled a bit like sesame seeds, but this stuff is wonderful- completely non irritating and great for irritated skin- my burned visage thanked me for buying this stuff, which is somehow both potent and gentle at the same time. Highly recommend having this in the house if you are prone to irritation, dry skin, or just need a bit of a glow.

http://www.shen-beauty.com/index.php?product=KG-005

http://www.amazon.com/Jawbone-Jbe02-Can-Jambox-Speaker-Red/dp/B004HW7ZVO/ref=...

http://www.rag-bone.com/

It ain't happenin' due to the weirdness of this hosting site the past week and the photos it won't allow me to upload...we'll get there. I hope to have it up today. XO

Good morning, Wednesday. I think I may be catching David's cold- although we've been married for almost 10 years, I still can't figure out how to not get sick when he does, and vice versa. But no cold or cough is going to stop me from going to see Pulp tonight, one of my fav bands from back in the day. I'm going with my uncle who is pretty much the reason I have always been a bit of a music geek- he took me to my first concert (the Kinks)  and many more after that and introduced me to so much music- from the Kinks to Depeche Mode to the Kooks and back again. He's always been so up on everything that's happening in music, and I'm excited to go see Pulp with him. The title of my post is a lyric from their song "Misshapes", a favorite amongst many others that I can't wait to see live.

I just love Jarvis Cocker's awkward appeal and wit. That song "Common People" would easily be my choice at karaoke if I had the guts to sing. His social commentary is epic, and his ability to take a piss out of modern life is what makes him one of the heroes of the 90s Brit Pop movement. I've talked about the affect that Cool Britannia movement had on me back then- while everyone else in the States was rocking flannel and getting high on lyrics inspired by morphine (grunge), I found myself drawn across the pond to bands like Oasis, Blur, Elastica, Supergrass, Suede, and of course, Pulp. And funny how your early music experiences form who you become as a fan- I clearly remember that the Kinks were one of the first bands that had me at first listen, and the bands from the Brit Pop movement owe a ton to bands like the Kinks and their quirk and ability to write great lyrics while showing deference for bands of the past. I also think that all of those pants, Pulp being high on that list, had an innate style and sense of fashion that I found inspiring- from Liam's oversized anoraks to Justine Frischmnn's arty toughness to Jarvis's flair for jaunty suits and geek chic. Even though I dug the music of Nirvana and other pants making waves stateside, I was wayyy more into the sounds and styles coming from the UK. Sure I knew the words to "Nevermind", but I definitely swooned over those cool poppy Brits who were changing the game across the Atlantic.

I'm so stoked to go see them at Radio City tonight- been a while since I've seen a show like this and can't wait.  Oh and in case you were wondering, I'm way more Oasis than Blur, and that's a fact. Can't help myself...cause that's what's up this misshapen Wednesday in the 718. Counting the mins till tonight to get my nineties youth on- yay. I want to live with common people like YOU.  XO