Good morning, friends. I'm feeling super depleted and fatigued from well, the world. Yes, that's broad. But really- I have a wonderful personal life, full of friends and family and a loving husband, I'm reasonably healthy and am finally closing in on the career I've always wanted, working with people I believe in and would bring into battle with me any day of the week. But in a larger sense, I can't help but feel horribly sad and scared for what's to come in this country. Because shit's about to get really weird. And there's no time to sleep.
I watched the President's closing remarks last night and cried like a baby. I cried when he got elected, and I cried when he said goodbye. I cried for different reasons in those cases- he "yes we canned" his way into our hearts and minds and the future never looked brighter. I cried because a black President was unprecedented. A young President filled me with hope. A President who was a real human being felt inspired and even though I fear change, felt like change I could be truly excited about. And it's for those same reason my tears of joy turned to tears of sadness last night. Because that's not who we elected to run the country next. And this all happened while we were sleeping.
Because under the guise of gay marriage, strong females like Michelle, a world seemingly more connected than ever before, we were sleeping.
Because as we shared photos of our brunch on Instagram and shared videos of Grumpy Cat and aligned in our bubbles over our progressive values, we were sleeping.
Because as some of us were Berners and some of us were with her and had the tee shirt to prove it, we were sleeping.
And then, just like that, we wished we could go back to bed.
Because the man who is coming into the White House does not deserve to be there. He is not qualified, not dignified, not even particularly smart. He detaches himself from the American people by being snarky on Twitter, a mode of communique that allows him to engage in mean spirited, childish displays of arrogance as he hides behind a mobile device or monitor.
Because my mind can't process how he got here, or how we got here. Because I wonder how we could have done more. How I could have done more. Because it doesn't matter if Trump is a racist, a homophobe, a nationalist, or a fan of golden showers. Because somehow he seems immune to all of it and it makes some sycophant of a fan base rally behind him even more. Because Putin has shit on him now and is playing him like a marionette.
Because as we were sleeping, we let the promise of change slip through our fingers. Because even though we had a Black President and gay weddings, we were not there yet. We were asleep at the wheel when "yes we can" became "no we can't".
Because we don't give psychiatric evaluations to those who hold the most important job in our nation, and arguably, the world.
Because the bad guys won. Because we were not raised to behave this way. Because we are Americans. And because now that means absolutely nothing. Because the man who made it mean something is leaving the building.
We must have been sleeping to let a man like Obama leave office, a man who gave it his all and whose hair turned grey doing it, and slap him in the face because scorching racism and sexism and xenophobia is alive and well by electing a terrifying, pathetic man who lives in a gilded, vulgar tower and lacks compassion or empathy. We must have been sleeping to believe that said pathetic man could "make America great again". Because only the sleeping masses could discount the fact that our economy has turned around, and that our rights are intact despite many obvious problems like gun control and foreign enemies and a rise in police brutality.
Sure, some of you were awake. I was half asleep. Because I believed without a shadow of a doubt that this would not happen. And now it's happening. And I'm not sure where we go from here. And many who are glass half full types are trying to console themselves by noting that this psycho could be a good President because he built a skating rink in record time in Central Park. Yea, I know. l want to go back to bed now too. But we can't.
Because he's not even in the White House yet and look at the mess he's made. (Not talking about the piss stained sheets in the Presidential suite in Russia either).
We've got to stay awake and do whatever it takes to protect our rights. I can't for the life of me understand why people hate Obama so much. You don't have to agree with everything your President does- but how or why hate a man that clearly cares about the American people in a way that most Presidents have not? How can you hate a person whose wife is a role model for women everywhere? How can you hate someone who represents your supposed "family values" to perfection? Because while we were sleeping, this country was not ready to have a black President, and that makes me very sad. And because even though he was in the White House for 8 years, we fell asleep halfway through and should have been alert enough to realize having him gone would be a huge challenge to a progressive agenda that was inclusive of not just some, but all.
I have never felt more emotionally invested in an election. I have always had eagle eyes on politics but when Obama got elected, it transcended politics and Washington for me. Because for the first time we had a President in my lifetime whose values felt in step with where we ought to be headed. I somehow can't believe we are headed for an administration that may very well take us back to a place of fear and tyranny. Because this is what happens when we oversleep. We miss shit. And now we need to run very fast because the alarm clock went off and we need to get to work. Now.
So go on your march. Sign that petition. Do whatever you can. As the reality and gravitas of the end of this Presidency became super real last night, I wanted to crawl under the duvet and stay there but I realized that's why we're here. And now is not the time to sleep. Officially awake. Are you?
PS- I'm making a real attempt to stay off of Facebook these days. My posts will still go up there but don't expect a ton of engagement from me there. It's just too much and not helping and until there's real action due to the magic of social media, I don't care about it anymore. I will continue to get my pretty picture dose from Instagram because I enjoy the lack of anger there. I'm angry enough, and somehow, Facebook makes it worse for me. It doesn't motivate me at all. In fact, it's debilitating.
I'm not sure I can watch the Inauguration. But if I'm not doing that, I better be doing something to keep my blood flowing and my energy level up. I'm fired up. Right now I'm full of fear and lack any hope and truly believe this is America's bottom. I can only hope we pull ourselves up from here and rise from the ashes and never let this happen again.
Cause that's what's up this sleep no more kind of Wednesday in the 212. Yours, in eyes wide open. XO