Good morning, Friday. Happy Veteran's Day and thanks to all who served or continue to serve this country. It's a scary time in America and it's early here in Portland, Oregon but I'm not sleeping. I woke up to go to Pure Barre this morning, which got cancelled due to protests getting violent last night. Welcome to the new age.
I've kept quiet since the night that will live in infamy, but you all know how I feel. Shattered. Gutted. Stunned. Just like most of you.
In my New York bubble where we thought we had it in the bag, I watched women line up with their daughters and grin ear to ear at the thought of the first female President. The gravitas of that. Overwhelming. Exciting. Game changing.
But as the news started to sink in, everything felt different. Everything felt horrible. Everything was over. We lost the race, and seemingly, so much more. I appreciated my friends on social who were being optimists about the potential for us to all work together, but I'm not there yet. I believe we must fight to protect our rights that many of us took for granted, but I can't yet see how Trump getting elected is a positive thing, even if it means we are all wide the fuck awake.
One thing I will say- the fact that I am on a production right now is a gift. A major gift. I must admit flying the day after was more exhausting than usual, but the kind man I sat next to on the flight kept checking in on me to make sure I was ok, and as we watched CNN on our individual screens, we both kept shaking our heads and wondering where we go from here. And then I switched channels and watched "The September Issue" and felt grateful for Grace Coddington, a flame haired respite from the terrible news. I can relate to Grace, she loves to make beautiful pictures with wonderful photographers. So do I.
And speaking of which, I'm on location with a startup ad agency where the two owners are the loveliest guys with a very bright future. Kind, considerate, talented. I'm also here with a photographer who is charming, warm, and gifted as well. I'm in a city where people are kind, considerate, and creative. Yes, another city that suffers from bubble syndrome like new York, but an intriguingly cool city nonetheless.
I had a minute to walk around yesterday and checked out some of the lovely shops downtown. The young women working in those shops were in a lot of emotional pain and a deep state of shock. We talked about it together and wondered where we go from here. It felt right to bond over this American tragedy with total strangers. I had an amazing dinner here in this city where we all drank too much wine and talked about everything but politics. Our client, a lovely woman from Ohio, told us how she was raised on a farm, and my photographer told us funny stories about his five children, and then he and I talked about punk rock and Robert Frank and Brooklyn. It was a lovely evening spent with people I don't know well, but connect to in a very real way. Oh and Leonard Cohen died? This WEEK.
And then I got back to my hotel room and turned on the news to see that even in this peaceful town of Portland, people were very angry about this result, and the protests here in downtown turned violent, led by anarchists. Yes, anarchists. For some reason, I keep picturing the final scene from "Fight Club", with the Pixies playing. It feels so on the verge and the edge. like we're living in the blank inkiness of a Fincher film or entering some Mad Max-like moment in time. Again my sadness sunk in, but so did something else- I felt very fortunate to be here working and making stuff. I love making things. I love producing photography. I feel lucky to be here with a team that loves to do the same. Today we're shooting some pictures in two beautiful homes, with children, and dogs, and real families who love each other. And though many times production work makes me insane and want to jump out a window, this is not one of those times. Because if there is anything good (remember I'm still not there yet) from this horrible week, it's a deeper appreciation for what I get to do, who I get to work with, and how being creative is really a healing thing. Now as we begin to pick up the pieces, we need to channel this creative spirit and production thinking and get to work. I felt incredibly lucky for this job this week to allow me to focus on something other than the bleak America I'm not really psyched to live in anymore. To get through it, I hope to keep working and collaborating and connecting good people. That's about all I can do right now. Keep making things. Figuring out how to make things. And sharing conversations and plates of food and laughs with good people.
I suppose many of you have your own version of getting through this dark time. Mine is definitely to participate in protecting our way of life. And collaborating with people who want to make great things. Whether it's photos or social change or food or whatever. Yea, I'm probably happy to have had a distraction these past few days, but really glad it was with something I still love to do. Cause that's what's up this trying to move forward by making stuff kind of Friday in Portlandia. Yours, in trying to make sense of it all. XO