Hi, Thursday. You are here and so am I. Very much so, in fact.
Today I realized I have posted over 400 entries on this blog, of which I am quite proud. I started this blog for the sheer hell of it, and to commit to doing something every day, for a few moments, that allowed me to feel creative and inspired. I placed no weight on whether people would read it or not (though I obviously hoped so), or whether it would lead to a staff job at glamorous magazine where everyone had expensive haircuts. I started it to simply share my thoughts, practice my writing in a disciplined fashion each and every day, and make sure I had fun doing it. And boy, have I. I've been touched by all of your amazing comments, encouragement, and feedback. And guess what? Just doing something for the sheer love of it allowed me to leave my job and explore some new aveneus, and do some legit writing for some great enterprises. I'm now fully focused on continuing to do so, but I think it's only because I allowed this little blog to happen organically, with no expectations whatsoever.
Too often I've been guilty of pushing with all my might to make things happen in my life. I have never, ever been the kind of girl who didn't have to create my own magic and change- and because of that, I have always felt the insatiable need to push, push, push. Inevitably that has led to me getting what I "think" I want, though the "get" was always more exciting than the end result. So I decided a bit ago to let go a bit and not push so hard and just let some things unfold, while exploring the things I love. And voila, here I am. And here you are, reading this happy little post.
I'm thinking of all of this not just because of the volume of posts on this here blog, but because I've recently spoken to two people, very special to me, that are going through their own version of "what am I doing" that I mentioned yesterday. One is 24, one is close to 60. Clearly they are at different points in their lives, but both have similar issues. The young one is feeling a lot of pressure from her family to "figure it out", get a job, and be a card carrying member of white collar society. The other is an empty nester who is brilliant and talented but a bit lost in her own skin and wondering where to go next. What's interesting about both scenarios is that I gave them the same advice, regardless of their age or standing in the food chain. I told them both to stop looking so hard for stuff and do something that simply interests them, for the hell of it, for the lark of it. The 24 year old is a fashion fanatic but is daunted by the rather sordid attitudes of those types. I can't blame her there- went through a similar thing when I moved to NYC and worked for a psychotic, toxic witch of a woman at one of the top fashion houses. She was feeling like maybe she needed to go to ad school for art direction, of which I dissuaded her, because I know this girl belongs in fashion, but more on the design end of things. She said she didn't know how to sew, of which I paid no attention. My advice was to just take a class in fashion design and see how it feels, and to not try too hard to read into what it could mean for the future- just do it for the pure "doing" and enjoying of learning something new. The rest will come (ask another dear friend of mine who has left a pretty serious job to do a yoga teacher training, with no real intentions other than just learning and loving life).
The 60 year old was feeling equally mucky when I assured her that she should probably take a class as well- maybe in food writing, art history, or children's book writing- all things she is passionate about but does not see a bright future in pursuing career wise. I told her that sometimes it's not about career, it's just about expanding what we know- if knowledge is power, then how can you lose, really? I have a male friend who once joked with me that all women, at a certain age, start taking classes to make themselves feel whole. Of course there are plenty of us that take classes in cooking, jewelry design, or memoir writing to fill some kind of void, but who cares? It's a hell of a lot better than sitting home watching "The Real Housewives", and you simply never know where these things may lead, but that path can only be traveled if you don't put too much stock in the end result of such endeavors- doing for the sake of doing and loving is the right approach, of this I am certain. And besides all of that, this thing you're looking for is probably right in front of you anyway, so stop looking so hard, would you?
The title of today's post deals with transformation, because I am fascinated by it- if not in such a broad, sweeping construct, but the opportunities we have to change and evolve and grow each day. Like my young fashion obsessed pal above, I too love fashion, but don't like the trappings of a life steeped in it. What I do love about it, most of all and first and foremost, is that, as I read in a piece in the NYT this past weekend, "fashion at it's best has the ability to transform".
I love that thinking and believe it to be true- fashion is more fun than most things in that way, and for that, fashion is a huge part of my life. Transformation, in a broader sense, can be microscopic or can be seismic. The best part is it's up to you how mythic you want it to be. I have always found "change" a terrifying word- it has a heaviness at times that has given me the shakes at less secure moments in my life. But transformation is so much warmer, so much more inviting, and makes me want to investigate exactly what it means, as I've been doing for some time now. So think about what you can do just because- whether it be classes or travel or simply fucking about for a bit until it reveals itself. I'm terribly sorry I had to get all Marianne Williamson on your sweet derrieres today, but such is my wont.
If you are feeling stuck, go deep and find that little something. And then don't think of how it will make you rich or a star or skinny- think about it and do something with it and just have some fun exploring. My husband bought me a ring once with the saying "The Journey is the Reward" inscribed upon it, and I couldn't agree more. And the best journeys are free of baggage of any kind, so be sure to travel light and enjoy the ride.
And that's what's up this self fulfilling Thursday in the MIA. XO