Good afternoon, Wednesday. It's weird weather here in the big citay today. Not super hot but soupy as could be, adding to a malaise that is brought on by humid air and cab drivers who refuse to put on their air conditioning. Come on. Give a girl a break. Can a girl get a break?
But I'm not here today to talk about the very third world aspects of New York in the summertime. I'm here to talk about another facet of summer time that can be oppressive, and it's an offense of the footwear variety. Ladies, I know you love your platform wedge sandals. I kind of love them too. But really you should learn how to wear them. Good style is not just about Bikram enhanced calves made more muscular by a wedge sandal. (Quel surpris). The challenge of wearing a wedge well is all about proportions. And in the Winter months, I saw tons of girls master the whole platform sneaker thing as well as all manners of platform booties. But the sandal is a whole different animal, and you better learn how to wear it or you're going to look badddd. And you may choose to file this next point in the "I don't give a fig" category, but men HATE a wedge. They don't understand it at all. In fact, I got into a rather compelling argument in the back of a car with an old male colleague of mine on such matters. And he won. It's just one of those things- whether you care or not is up to you, I'm just pointing that out. Yea, I don't really care either.
And if you're choosing to wear this summer staple, you must learn the rules of Wedge Club. And I'm breaking the first rule of Fight Club by talking about the rules. That's just how I roll. Besides, this is the Wedge Club. Completely different. You'll see that wearing these well is all about proportions, and nothing else. Isn't everything though? True style is not about expensive items or the latest trends. True style is all about knowing what silhouette is best and how to put things together to make it all work when it comes to shape. Shape is everything in the Wedge Club. EVERYTHING. And I'm going to give you my take on how to rock this look and rock it hard.
Ok, here goes:
1. Wear with flare. Wedge sandals look absolutely chic with bell bottoms or flared jeans or trousers. And yes your legs will look a million miles long. It's a great line created by a platform wedge and a longgg flowy pant. Yup. It's just right as right gets. The skinny jean does not belong with this shoe- unless of course it's more of a cropped skinny that flares out a bit- that's the only way to make it work. You can also try it with a boyfriend jean for maximum tomboy/femme cuteness, as shown above. (Bonus points for insider fashion joke tee shirt).
2. Wear with micro shorts, but not micro minis. This one is kind of a big deal. I love a wedge with a short, cuffed trouser short or with denim cut-offs- and a shorter length is the way to go. But when it comes to a miniskirt, stay far away from body con minis that are too short- the wedge will make you look like a cheap hooker somehow. If you wear a short skirt with a wedge, it must have volume. Trust me.
3. Mid Length is the move. When it comes to skirt or dress length, nothing works better with a wedge than a knee length or just below skirt or dress- remember, it's about creating proportions that compliment each other- and a fuller skirt is wedgeworthy while a tight one just isn't.
4. No Max. That's a fact. You may disagree with me, and this one is arguable I suppose- but I don't like a maxi dress (a long skirt works though) with wedges, unless said maxi has a slit up the side or is not to the floor. I prefer a maxidress with a flat sandal- it just creates a leaner line and does not clunk up the works. You don't want to clunk up the works, do ya? Didn't think so. Alba is making it work above- because her hemline is of the high low variety, thus mixing up the proportions and not overly clunked.
5. Beware the business suit. Listen women of the world who don't work in creative fields and have to wear more official looking clothing- that's cool. Just keep the shoes official too- wedges look absolutely heinous with pencil skirts, business suits, sheath dresses, or anything that skews more boardroom than boite. I saw someone this am rocking a blazer and pencil skirt and blouse and cork wedges and it ruined my morning. My eyes, my eyes...it was truly awful and a big DO NOT. So don't. This is a more casual, kick back shoe and just looks weird when it's business time. Really, really weird.
6. If the shoe fits, wear it. If not, please don't. Toe cleavage is fine in closed toes- toe spillage and squish is bad news bears. If your sandal causes your toes to extend or protrude or not fit into said sandal, please refrain. It looks too painful for words. Stop the insanity. Nothing sexy about corns, calluses, or other foot related maladies, right? Right.
Sure I went off a little on this post- you probably didn't come here to second guess your wedge choices, but I'm only here to help. It bothers me when perfectly good shoes are worn the wrong way. And I'm but a humble servant of style and it's my role to help you help yourselves. And though men may prefer stilettos, I care not. I like a wedge (more of the sneakered variety) as much as the next girl, and if you think those black suede Givenchy clog platforms at the top of this post are not everything to me, you're wrong. Very wrong. So good. And I'm loving a printed or patterned wedge. Tots cute.
And that's what's up this wedgie of a Wednesday in the 212. Tread rightly, ladies. If you're going to man repel, at least do it the right way. That's just the way of the wedge. XO