Well, there are so many things really.
Oh, hello Friday...it's been a dizzyingly busy week here in Los Angeles and looking forward to to spending the weekend here. I have to say that LA makes me very happy- I do love it here, and find myself moved by this city's beautiful weather, midday light, and weirdness. It's a wonderful place and I feel lucky to have so many dear friends here- some of my favorite people, in fact. But it will never be home for me, and that's that.
Somhow I am always very much aware of my outsider status here- an interloper of sorts dabbling in things in which I don't belong, and I definitely don't belong here. I have always felt that way here, even though I have been here so many times- and I guess it's no surprise that people here always tell me "you're very New York" when they meet me- it's a bit too enlightened out here for me, too conscious, yet somehow too removed from reality. I simply don't fit in here, as much as I do love the style here- no town does casual chic better than LA and that's a fact.Oh, and people have been super friendly here this trip- usually Angelenos are not that way. The staff at the Roosevelt are dear. If you come here, consider it- very lovely people here and interesting history- it's rumored Marilyn Monroe's ghost is bringing sexy back in one of the rooms here. And places like Topanga Canyon and Malibu and the Los Feliz hills are nothing short of spectacular, for their coolness and beauty and outstanding real estate. It's stellar.
Although LA has all of the ingredients to be my kind of town (great food, amazing shopping, cool style, loads to do, people hustling to live the dream), it's simply not urban enough. LA is one big suburb and I'll hear none of it if you try to convince me otherwise. And the sheer sprawl of this city is daunting- one can almost feel a bit Lewis or Clark just trying to go from East to West- the isolation of being trapped in a car all day does not appeal, and when you watch people in their cars during the crush of rush hour, you can see that it's a fairly miserable endeavor. I'm not down. And though I do dig on the people here, there's a peculiar vacancy that makes me feel like I'm on another planet- please stop smiling in this excruciatingly painful 6 am ashtanga class. The blissed out thing is simply not my trip.I guess I'm just more Biggie and less Tupac. I'm so East it hurts.
I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, but I guess it's to say that the only place that really ever feels like home, where I feel welcomed with open arms, where I connect to the rhythym and the pace and the soul city walking is New York. Being here affirms that for me, though I question my judgement from time to time as the weather here is bloody perfection. Besides that, I'm pretty stoked to get back to Miami,pack all of my possessions, and move back to the only place where I feel like I have true insider status, a place that is instinctively all mine, though not for everyone. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy LA- we are scouting on the PCH today and around Malibu so could very much be worse...I hope you find your place this weekend that makes you feel at home- a sense of place is important in this rather topsy turvy moment we are having...cause that's what's up this I love LA but I FUCKING LOVE NEW YORK kind of Friday in the City of Angels. XO
PS how great is this sweatshirt- sums it up for me:
