Hiya, Wednesday...I'm working away the morning listening to Flo and the Machine and looking forward to a fun weekend in Philadelphia at my nephew's bar mitzvah...hard to believe really. My, how time goes by.
So last night I happened to catch the iconic "Say Anything" as I was settling in for the night. It's a hard movie to turn away from, this much I can say, and it takes me immediately back to my youth, since the movie was made in 1989 when I was but a young girl. I very clearly remember watching this film, as a loveless rookie who very much wanted an oversized, trench coated gentleman to hold up a boom box with Peter Gabriel coming out of it, at very high decibels. I had absolutely no idea what was in store for me in terms of romance, life, or anything else, really. All I knew is that Lloyd seemed fantastic and adorable, that he fought for his girl, that he didn't give up, that yea, maybe he was kind of mediocre but he was passionate about the most important thing of all- being in love, and he was good at it, too. (The kickboxing thing seems weird now, but that's not here nor there really). As I watched, I posted a comment on Facebook that every girl, regardless of who she is, wants a Lloyd Dobbler moment in her life. I was nervous posting that- thinking that maybe todays' power femmes would be offended by the notion that they would need a man to play a song for them out of an antiquated device, that it's a cheesy notion for cheesy and sappy girls. But I was surprised by how many of my beautiful girl friends agreed. And guys, if you don't know this about us, listen up: we all want to be adored, and we want you to do the adoring. Not sure how that's a news flash, but I think in this era of women on top, it's worth mentioning. Call me old fashioned then, but we still want that, even if we adore ourselves more than ever before. Just worship us, would you?
And what I really love about Lloyd (besides the fact that I have always found young Cusack's sarcasm and earnestly low self esteem enchanting) is that he's a fabulous testament to men everywhere- and in a day and age where men seem to be a little lost, I think you could all take a little turn at finding your inner Lloyd Dobbler- because you can still be who you are, you just need to be a good man. That's really about it. And that's what most of us want- the Gabriel soundtrack is an added bonus, but believe me, we all want something to remind us of how much you care, even if the late 80s are long since gone. If you do not feel like blasting a song out of a boombox for your lady, then it's worth thinking about why, and that maybe you are not meant to be. And girls, if your man won't do that for you, you too should drastically reconsider things.
Watching this film now makes me think of a time when I thought I knew what and who my ideal man would be (had more of an idea than I thought). If looking through the lens of Hollywood, I always found Jake Ryan of Sixteen Candles to be close to perfection, but somehow he felt completely out of my league- too athletic, preppy, and too rich for an art school girl like me who was prone to Joy Division and Baudelaire. Then of course there's Lloyd, who represents the glorious every man, with great and heroic aplomb. I love you, Lloyd. I do.
But my biggest crush of all was Judd Nelson's character (Bender) in The Breakfast Club. The misunderstood/deepdarkeyes/indiemofo/couldkickanass/Heathcliff from Wutherhing Heights/ nobody understands me but you/letsgetdrunkandmakeout/brooding type bad seed- you all know the type well and unfortunately so do I. Because that type would often lead to my chronic disappointment in later years- there were a few Benders thrown into the mix just enough to make me properly insane, because you simply can't fix guys like that. They're broken. And tragic. But I suppose that's part of their appeal. (Oh and did I mention my hugely major crush on Bill Murray in both Meatballs and Stripes? It's uncanny how even at a young age I knew I had to be with a man who made me laugh, that's absolutely non-negotiable).
So where am I going with all of this, you may ask? No, I'm not stuck in some 80s teen fantasy- I'm just saying there were some interesting types out there in movie land in my youth that informed the way I viewed men, and I suspect that a lot of other women view men too. Nowadays it's more Edward vs. Jacob but the song pretty much remains the same.
Because ladies, regardless of whether or not you were in diapers when this film was made, you'd be well served to find your very own Lloyd Dobbler type, even if your dad doesn't approve- sure there's a chance he will not afford you a life of leisure or pick up after himself, but you can't buy love like that, can you? Go ahead and try. I'll wait.
Oh and boys- WE ALL WANT TO BE LLOYDED. Just so you know- we care not about your Aston Martin or your busted up Corolla, the amount of crunches you can do or the microbrew belly you seem to have acquired, or your ability to speak five languages or barely speak at all. What we do care about is knowing that you care and are willing to fight to keep us, and that you'll fly to whatever city we are going to so you can hold our hand on the flight. Seems simple enough to me.
As far as the other archetypes, I think I netted out pretty well in the end, and found a man who is a nice combination of my teenaged movie paramours. I could have very well ended up going full Bender (never go full Bender by the way) and been denied a Lloyd. What I did get was a guy who is part Lloyd/part Bill Murray/and part Bender. (Just the right amount there- I was not fully willing to give up the broody type, that would be wrong). Whoever you end up with, just find a man that will show you who he is, and by doing so, will show you how much he cares. That's all I have to say about that. I got bored talking about fashion so decided to talk about another one of my favorite things, love. And that's what's up this Wednesday in Miami, in your eyes. All the love. I believe in it still, and that's that. XO
PS Joe does lie. He just does.