Good morning, Wednesday. I was so sad to read the news about Nora Ephron's passing last night, and indeed it was a shock, since I had absolutely no idea she was sick, and what's weird is because we all felt like we knew her from her open and warm writing style, I found myself saying- "oh isn't that just like Nora? To keep an illness private and not tell anyone until it was too late?". Sigh. We lost an amazing talent on this here planet yesterday- Nora's writing style was an endless source of inspiration for me and I'm sure millions of other women- she "got it" like so few and although she lived a posh life, she somehow managed to talk to us all, and that's what I loved about her.
The thing about Nora for me is that although I was not a huge fan of some of her films (When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail), you can't deny that what she did for women in the film industry, particularly behind the camera and of course Meg Ryan, was absolutely transcendent. It's hard to think of these movies now and not find them a bit cheesy, but maybe it's because their rom com status is so iconic in the genre that it's hard to see them for what they were- sappy, sure, but altogether smart- for a new generation of women that could be vulnerable, strong, sexy, and hilarious all at once. Remember that Meg's loopy goofiness came long before Carrie Bradshaw, and suddenly we had a new "every woman" who fake orgasmed in public and fell in love with a very non leading manish type like Billy Crystal, because his character was the type that women actually do end up with- someone who makes them laugh and "gets" them more than any Brad Pitt type would. Plus, Nora was married to Carl Bernstein and claimed to be one of the few people who knew the identity of "Deep Throat". How cool is that?
But what I absolutely loved about Nora were her books of essays, one of them having one of the greatest titles of any book written by a woman- "Wallflower at the Orgy", a book of essays Nora penned back when she was a journalist. Funny as hell, urbane, and altogether smart, Nora's take on womanhood was beyond brilliant- I have always loved a woman who can laugh at herself and her shortcomings instead of trying to hide behind them. My favorite book of hers is "I Feel Bad about My Neck", her last book and one that struck a chord with me as I approach an age where I too, may soon feel bad about my very own neck and I pray I can laugh about it. Many people who have read Ephron's books critiqued them as dated and too "mature", but I completely disagree- what I loved about Nora is that she didn't pretend to be hip or cool or any of those things- she just wrote about the people, places, and life she knew, and it was a life I found endlessly entertaining. Perhaps it was her early years as a journalist that gave her such an amazing ability to observe, see, and report on life in such an accurate and sarcastic way.
And speaking of sarcasm, Nora was 100% New York born and raised- and her humor and rapier wit and love of black turtlenecks made her the prototypical New York woman. When I read her books, I often pictured her strolling around uptown (naturally), picking up provisions at Zabar's for a fabulous dinner party she'd be having with even more fabulous and witty New York quests. I think I always wanted a seat at that table. She is somebody I very much admired as a woman- her genius was in her accessibility and relatability and understanding of womanhood as a crazy, hormone filled ride full of love, laughs, and sometimes disappointment, which often ached to be made fun of and poked full of holes. We women folk need to do that more often, but now, who's to guide us through it?
Rest in peace, Nora, but knowing you, you'll probably have way too much to say up above to do so. The world will miss your very real take on what it's like to be a human and a woman and a New Yorker, and now you no longer need to feel bad about your neck. Thanks for all you gave us. And that's what's up this sleepless in Brooklyn kind of Wednesday in Cobble Hill. XO