On why I'm glad I wasn't the prom queen


Good morning, Wednesday. It's not cute outside today and I feel like getting back under the duvet. I'm lacking the necessary motivation to get moving, and since I've already taken a barre class, I feel it is within my rights to do not a ton for the rest of the day. But I've got stuff to do and have to find a way.

So Renee Zellweger is all over the internet with people wondering what on Earth she's done to her face. I am in the camp that finds it sad she needs to render herself virtually unrecognizable, and judging from my Facebook page, many of my friends on social media agree. But there are those that find the critique of her new look as mean and hateful, and I can't disagree. I would hate to be the subject of so much scrutiny, but looking at her it's hard to understand why she is so clearly trying to change her appearance as she rounds the corner of middle age. It's sad to me, and I'm sticking to that.

But for me, I'm glad I've always been the quirky girl, and here's why. 

If you were one of those girls that was the prom queen, cheerleading captain, or president of Tri Delt, I feel for you. I do. But you're never going to look the way you did then, but I understand why you would want to. For me, there's not a single amount of money that would make me want to go back to my late teens or 20s, so why would I want to look the way I did then? If we grow as human beings, why would we expect our looks to stay the same? Yea, thought so. Oh and one other thing- find some other stuff that makes you attractive besides your great ass and cute haircut. That should not be all you've got.

There are those of us in this world that have a more quirky appeal- maybe we're not traditional, perfect beauties but we've got more going for us.  I found a personal best that I was extremely happy with. I worry that for girls who are complete babes in high school and college, there will always be a chasing the dragon moment to pursue some vestige of that perfection. It's not good. I'm glad I was on the outskirts and the fringes and celebrated my own unique beauty and style and world view; and I love the Catherine Deneuve school of thought (who by the way is still a great beauty) about getting older- where one feels that growing into your face and wrinkles is a great honor, a badge that you have made it through some major bullshit. You've earned that face. Leave it the heck alone.

I have friends on social media who have gone too far with plastic surgery, and I'm sure you do too. I think it looks awful and fake and bizarre but I can't hold it against people. I'm not anti surgery, what I'm anti is taking it to a place where your face is no longer your own. As a woman who has always had more of a unique appeal, my face aging is not bumming me out as much, because I like who I have become, I like the character I have grown into. Sure, I slave away at Pure Barre and spin to keep my shit together, but honestly, I'm not chasing the way I used to look. I'm cool with who I am. What makes me sad for Ms. Renee and all of the crazy bad plastic surgery and injectable overload I see is the belief that women are not good enough as we are. It's startling to me that we have come so far in this universe and our status has never been stronger, but the constant quest for youth seems like a big step back- why would anyone want to go back to the way things were and not focus on moving forward? Why do so few men get plastic surgery or fixate on fixing their faces? I'm not talking about occasional Botox, I'm talking about way more. 

And this is not me being on some natural high horse- but I'm not trying to look like an aging prom queen. I just want to look like me, and since I am infinitely young at heart, I'm not super worried about chasing youth. I've always had my own notion of what it means to be beautiful, and I've never tried to be something I'm not. I'm happy to be a bit of a quirky bird because nobody expects me to get hair extensions, Botox, or be a size 2. I'm saying I just want more women to celebrate who they are, and redefine beauty the way we have redefined our lives. Sure Renee should not have to justify why she wants to look the way she looks, but I find it disturbing not just because she doesn't look like herself anymore, but that we pick apart how women, particularly those in the public eye, are aging and how they look. (Even more upsetting to me is here is a woman whose role as Bridget Jones celebrated a quirky, adorable character, yet all anyone could talk about is her weight gain for the role).

I guess the point of this rant is I am happy with myself for the most part- I may do little things to accommodate some changes in my face and figure, but I'm not going to change myself to the extreme. I'm focused on moving forward and not going back, and I wish more women felt that enjoying who they are now and who they will become is a great honor, not something to toss aside in favor of something they once were.

And that's what's up this happy to be quirky kind of Wednesday in Brooklyn. Yours, in keeping it real. Here's to not being the prom queen- not then, and not now. XO