Good
afternoon, Wednesday. Halfway there, living on a prayer and such.
This past weekend I got to see a dear friend of mine- we were very close when we were both crazy young little fucks running around the city, but lost touch over the years because, well, we were dumb little fucks running around the city. I got married and moved to Miami, and it was a long time before I heard from said friend again, who reconnected with me on Facebook a few years ago when I came back to the city.
Now this is a person who has really been through it- there were issues with just about everything you can imagine and for a long time, this friend of mine was pretty lost in a life that was not for her. After seeking help and getting through it, she became the person she is today- a person who is conscious, practices yoga on the regs, and has her own successful business. But wait, this story gets better.
So this girl has an apartment, a studio apartment on 2nd Avenue on the Upper East Side for as long as I have known her, let's say about 15 years. 15 years in the same apartment. 15 years with soot from Second Avenue seeping into your kitchen every bloody day. 15 years of the awful, awful, beyond awful 6 train. As we reconnected and she came out to Brooklyn to see me a few times for brunch and shopping dates, she told me she seriously wanted out of that apartment, but was feeling scared. This apartment was basically free (rent controlled) and the only place she had really known as a grown woman in New York. She thought about Brooklyn, and realized for her, it didn't feel quite right.
But then she found the most amazing apartment- on a positively perfect block- West 12th between 5th and 6th. This weekend, I had the pleasure of seeing it- overlooking a beautiful courtyard with a huge living room and wonderfully "New York" neighbors- theatre people, academic people, and people offering to show her how to grow a garden on her patio. After many hugs and pinches of disbelief, we got in a Zip Car and wandered up to ABC Warehouse in the Bronx, and picked out a beautiful sofa and rug for her living room. As I looked at my friend, still funny and beautiful after all of these years, I felt so much warmth and happiness for her. She kept saying how she couldn't believe her luck in finding such a gorgeous apartment in her price range, and how it seemed unreal to even ponder an apartment full of new things and new possibilities. But even though New York real estate is a scary game and even having space for a sofa in the city is a gift, I did not feel surprised or shocked the way she did, and I told her so. You know why? Because this girl did the work. I mean, she really did the most amazing amount of work.
She dealt with her issues, got her life together, and made things right with me and who knows whom else. As I stood there with her, I realized how important it is to simply do "the work; whatever that work may be. I felt her gratitude, respect, and relief for this new part of her life that was about to begin. And the best part was that she deserved this to happen, and really there's no coincidences, even though Streeteasy may be a serendipitous app that shows you where all of the best apartments are in the neighborhood where you happen to be taking a yoga class or meeting a friend for lunch. There are no accidents or by chance encounters when you do the work, because everything good that happens is something that you have earned, and only good can come from that.
I guess what I was thinking about was that we spend so much time on our jobs and our bodies and our love lives, but are we focused on the real work that needs to be done- feeling fulfilled, satisfied, healthy? Being a better person does not come from a promotion, smaller waist, or hot new boyfriend, you know. That stuff is solely up to you. And not that the other stuff is not fabulous, but some of it can feel empty if you're not the person you know you were meant to be.
So I ask you on this beautiful Wednesday- are you doing the work? I know I could be working a lot harder- and though it seems like I work all the time, that's not really the "work" I mean. I mean- am I doing everything I need to do to get where I want to be? Could I somehow do more? I can't help but think about my friend and how much time and energy she put in to making the life she wants to have. If you do the work, you get the reward- whether it's running a marathon, falling in love, or opening a store that sells pet sweaters. It's all about the work you put in to get there. And ps- it's not just about setting a goal or intention- it's about dedicating yourself completely to being as good as you can be, and true, sometimes that's not enough. But I have to believe trying is worth it, well worth it. Oh, and all bets are off if you are not somehow humbled by how far you have come. Because if you choose to do the work and get some of that good stuff and then shit on the people or things that helped you get there, all bets are off, because karma is a doozy. My point- just because you get there, you've got to keep working to stay there.
I felt so very inspired by my pal and wish her a wonderful move- a move that represents so much more than just a nicer apartment and a new sofa. It's the culmination of a new way of life, one that was fueled by a huge amount of blood, sweat, and tears to do that work. Now I better get back to it, because I myself have all kinds of work to do, because I just am trying to look forward and keep moving. Just felt like sharing. Cause that's what's up this willful Wednesday in the 212. Yours, in loads of work to do. XO