Good
afternoon, Wednesday. I'm sorry for the lack of posts (it's been almost a week)
but honestly; I haven't been much in the mood.
With the horrific shooting in California this past weekend, I've been really, really out of sorts. I've read tons of pieces on everything from gun control to mental illness to misogyny and it's becoming a little bit too easy, in my mind, to identify the symptoms. I'm just wondering why on Earth we can't find the cure? Because we are focused on the wrong stuff.
Perhaps it makes us feel better to figure out "why" but are we really figuring it out? It's beyond true this young, troubled man should have never had access to a gun, hated women and felt entitled to the point of mass murder, and that he had seen a number of mental healthcare professionals and nobody picked up that this was a person that needed some serious help. And as I sat in my apartment over the holiday weekend, I felt helpless, as I often do in this crazy world we live in. I love bringing you my thoughts on fashion, beauty, and inspiration. It brings me great joy, and I hesitated to write a post about how terrible the world is because, well, is that what you want to hear from me? I'm not sure it is, but it needs to be said. Because I believe we're focusing too much on said symptoms and not enough of looking for a cure when it comes to everything that is wrong with society. We are failing our young people and we have to do something about it. Mass murder can't be so common it's unavoidable (the Onion piece on the matter was more than right about that). We are focused on the wrong stuff.
We're obsessing about our bodies, our selves, our midcentury furniture, our electric cars, our normcore designer clothes. We're putting poison in our faces to look younger, we're on plant-based diets, and we're trying desperately to connect in a more and more disconnected, yet digital world. We sigh collectively when tornadoes, earthquakes, and hurricanes occur. We elected our first black President on the basis of hope and change. We have become a society who helps small business through platforms like Kickstarter, an ingenious method for giving that makes it easier than ever to promote the things and people and causes we believe in. Those are all fabulous things. But unfortunately, we're focused on the wrong stuff.
But here's what we're doing entirely too much- we've entered an era of extreme living that needs to be curbed, and now. We use the word "obsessed" to describe our glee for the latest high-end purse (guilty as charged) to our devotion to the latest flash fad like cronuts. If only we could say we are obsessed with compassion, with giving, with understanding. IF ONLY. We're focused on the wrong stuff.
And on the other side of the obsessed scale is hatred, and we see that on an almost constant loop. From Elliott Rodger to electing officials who identify with Hitler (this just happened in Germany) to our deep hatred for celebrities we don't even know but love to hate (guilty again), we've got to stop with all of the hate. If only we could hate the things we are really supposed to hate- intolerance, violence, and aggression would be a great place to start. We're focused on the wrong stuff.
As someone who does not have children, I feel guilty telling people how to raise their kids, and I'm not going to do that because honestly, raising children in today's world is a task that is beyond me. But what I will say is we owe it to our next generation to start early in teaching all about compassion- right alongside that French lesson, dance class, or birthday party. There needs to be an education on how to be a good human being, who understands that life is full of challenges and rejection and yes, joy, but also a lot of things that test our humanity and question what it all means to be here in the first place. We can't keep raising young people filled with so much hate, because somehow along the way, mentally ill or not, they did not grow up with a sense of what it means to be "obsessed" with the right things- like being kind to your fellow man or woman, helping others in need, and living an existence free of violence. I feel that we are doing a real disservice to our youth if we are constantly encouraging entitlement of any time- what we are entitled to is a life full of compassion- and that includes for those people and situations in life that more often than not disappoint. Why are we telling young people that can have everything and be whoever they want to and encouraging a "take what you want" point of view? Shouldn't we be teaching them a more mindful approach to being the best person one can be? We're focused on the wrong stuff.
And maybe if we stopped trying to look like a supermodel or act like a celebrity or seek fame or money in ways that are not true to who we are, we could be in a better place. Maybe if we redefined our path with thoughts of how to be a more giving and considerate person vs. how to buy a loft or how to fit into the jeans we wore in high school, we'd be better off. Imagine how successful we could all feel if we just flipped what success really meant? Oh, and look up once in a while. That could help too. Not a lot wrong with that stuff ps- it's just not enough to make us happy, even though we think that attaining those things will. Stupid humans. We're focused on the wrong stuff.
And before you label me a Utopian, I'm not, really. Is it too much to ask for people to start giving a crap about each other? I know there will always be people that feel isolated, that don't fit in, that have deep issues that are beyond most of us to ever comprehend. Often I wonder how to contribute to this world in a bigger way, because the more I chase some notion of what I understand to success, inevitably, I become more miserable. I may fail from time to time but I do believe that if we all try harder to practice a life that is filled with understanding and an appreciation of how hard this "life" thing is, we could come to a better place. This includes locking up the guns. That's just a fact. I'm sticking with that. Full stop. We're focused on the wrong stuff.
I see glimmers of hope- last night a dog rescue I very much believe in was writing on Facebook at 9 pm to help save a paralyzed dog from a high kill shelter. Many of us saw it and donated money to help get him out- we're waiting to hear but instead of streaming down our feeds and looking at more pics of Kim and Kanye, we focused on the right stuff. Hopefully, that will help this poor pup. We must focus on the right stuff. I'm not sure we have a choice if we have any hope of sustaining this world for ourselves, and our children. We're focused on the wrong stuff.
Listen, I'm not going to stop blogging about shoes and bags and fashion. I love those things. It's just that this has been on my mind for the past few days and I was struggling with how to put it into words, because I know that I try to keep things on the lighter side on this blog, because maybe in my mind I'm giving you a break from all of that suffering, or maybe I want to. But amidst the reality shows and juice cleanses and latest workouts, there's some really hard things happening, and we need to shift our energy away from all of those things that we perceive as making us "better" (for ourselves) and think long and hard about how we are going to help each other through all of this chaos. I think a more compassionate life is a good place to start, and from a very young age. I'm begging parents of young kids to teach them that though life is going to be filled with struggles, being everything they want is not a one way ticket to entitlement- one should really consider being a "success" as so much more than what we do every day- it's about bringing positive and loving vibes into this fucked up world. How else can we hope to survive? There is so much judgement, insanity, and terror. We must now focus on the right stuff.
I'm just feeling so upset and jagged that someone could do such a thing, and it's happening more and more with no sign of letting up. There is no reason for any woman, man, or animal to feel fear of these things. We've got to find a way- you know that song. Sing it, and be it. Because life is not getting any easier, and we have to find a way to more lovingly survive.
Cause that's what's going on this trying to focus on the right stuff kind on Wednesday in the 212. I hope this post was not too heavy, but it was written with love for my friends, family and those who are suffering and trying very hard to cope in this crazy world. I will return to our regularly scheduled blog post but just felt like sharing my thoughts and sending my prayers. Yours, in compassionate living- this post is dedicated to Maya Angelou (RIP), whose life was a stellar example of what it is to live a well intentioned and meaningful life. Here's to finding a cure; because we've all seen these symptoms far too many times. XO