Holy merde, Friday. Right in the nick of time...thank you. So I'm freelancing at an office right now that has Hawaiian shirt day today. Yea, that's right. Hawaiian shirts. I half expect Michael Scott to jump out and make some bullshit joke about getting lai'd. Oh my, how did I get here?
Some of you that know me know I am not a joiner in any real sense- never have been, never will be. Sure I hopped on a few crowded trains for a hot minute, and definitely went through different phases that made me feel like I was part of something. But really I care not to take part in most things, because I simply like to do things my own way- and organized Hawaiian shirt day is definitely not for me, nor is it in any way "my way".
Maybe it's because I'm proto Gen X (see there's a group I'm a part of), but I still harbor a bit of punk rock rebelliousness into my every day- a bit of apathy, a bit of cynicism (alright more than a bit), and more than enough of an indie soul. I simply am that way, and the thought of becoming too much a part of the establishment has always terrified me (yea yea I know I'm too late). Sure I've succumbed to working in advertising all these years, having to play well with others in the sandbox, and making sure I show up to meetings in appropriate attire and from time to time take one for the team. I guess we all have to grow up a bit, but it ain't easy.
And speaking of that, did you know this week marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Nirvana's Nevermind? It's fucking hard to believe but it's true- that it's been two decades since we smelled teen spirit for the first time. I'll be the first to admit that the whole grunge thing did not take over my life like it did for a lot of friends of mine (I was in college then)- simply because long haired guys in flannel shirts were not my thing, though Marc Jacobs collection of that era was one of the most memorable of all time- his homage to his grunge heroes made his career. But hearing Nirvana and Kurt for the first time did have a big effect on me and formed some part of my youth, and spoke to that little rebel soul in all of us. True music snobs will claim Nirvana destroyed grunge by going too mainstream- another typical Gen X sentiment, by the way (smells like sellout).
Regardless, Kurt's eerie hotness and primal scream were unforgettable, intangible, and sensational. Ever the reluctant rock star (or so it seemed), Kurt was dreamy and fucked up and a bit of a Pacific Northwestern Rimbaud. And there's still a part of me that knows that every time I frown at convention and office politics, I owe some of my discontent to the music I grew up listening to, and that was part of my world. G-d bless Nirvana, sell out, or not for starting a revolution, and making some fantastic music in the process. (I'm not sure the world would be as good if the song 'Lithium' wasn't in it). I miss Kurt and his beautiful loneliness. And you bet your ass he would never subscribe to Hawaiian shirt day, unless it involved ripping one to pieces and setting it on fire, or maybe he would wear one all day, in a sort of reverse fuck you. I'm simply not cool enough for that.
Besides the fact that it's been 20 years since then is giving me a midlife crisis, I can't help but feel grateful that I got to experience that time in music, even though I never claimed it as mine, because it did offer us something different, at a time when rock and roll was mostly hairspray and leopard leggings. I also very much remember the day Kurt died, much as I remember other epic moments in my trajectory. Oh and of course he was 27, like all the great ones are when they go.
So I task you to think about how important Nirvana was to music, and maybe you'll channel your inner intolerance for bullshit today, regardless of whether or not you got down with the Seattle sound. I know I will. In fact, I already have- and as I watch someone run by my office in a grass shirt as I listen to "Rape Me", I somehow feel better. Hope you are all going to do something cool this weekend- just don't sell out. At least not in an obvious way...cause that's what's up this flanneled Friday in the MIA. Come as you are. XO