Good morning, Monday. It's hot and soupy in Miami, but what else is new?
As I watched the news of gay marriage being a go in New York State this weekend, my heart swelled. It's no secret that I am a huge fan of the gays, as well as an even bigger fan of New York. I am so proud of the state that was once my home (and in my heart still is)- I'm thrillled for all my friends and extended network of people that can now love each other, on their terms, and fight over which furniture to buy in Ikea, now with wedded bliss. As a girl who grew up in a family that had gay cousins and uncles, I could never understand why people could not simply choose to love who they want to love, because a love without love, recognized how you want to recognize it, is kind of a shitty deal. I always felt very lucky to come from a family that was so accepting and tolerant in that regard- my grandfather was one of the butchest manly men around, but had no problem with having a gay son. Plus, my family had some very fun parties in the 70s- disco in the backyard and such.
So as I sit here and applaud New York (and my dear friend Jon Reinish, one of the smartest and funniest people I have been lucky to know, who had a significant role in pushing for this), I can't help but wonder about us straights. Recent studies show that many of us are questioning the relevance of "I Do" in our increasingly complex world of single motherdom, options for women out the wazoo, and men being energized by the glories of Viagra, and a renewed interest in sex, and maybe even going outside the marriage to get some. In fact, an October 2010 Pew study of 2,691 Americans done in association with Time magazine found that nearly four in 10 Americans think marriage is becoming obsolete. Not surprisingly,younger people are leading the way in redefining what marriage means- think of how many of their parents are divorced. Forty-four percent of those between the ages of 18 and 29 saw marriage as obsolete, compared to 32 percent of those 65 and older, in an article in USA Today.
And with divorce prevalant now amongst couples in their 50s and then some (Al and Tipper come to mind), is marriage for the male/female couples going to become passé?Does the second act now include divorce?
I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer this one, but I do know marriage was just thrown on its traditional arse by the news of New Yorkers finally being able to tie the knot. And we all know New York sets the trends for the rest of the country, so I am sure many states will follow. And as someone who has spent their life selling stuff, I can't help but wonder how the marketing community will react to this new marriage equation? Will we see more commercials featuring same sex couples and families (I know Ikea did one a bit ago and J. Crew recently featured a male couple in their catalogue but I want more)? What will all of this mean to the wedding business? How will insurance law grow to accomodate same sex unions? And most importantly, what on Earth will I wear to all of these fabulous weddings (Phillip Treacy most likely, at least on my head)?
I'm a girl who likes to watch, and this cultural shift has me excited to see what will happen to the time honored tradition of marriage. Maybe it's becoming less important for girls who like boys and vice versa, but look for same sex marriages to reinvent notions of what betrothal really is, and it's about time, and really it's about choice. Married or not, I'm glad New Yorkers are now free to love how they want, and who they want. And maybe the gays will save marriage, after all.The fights at Ikea are non-negotiable though, trust me...
And that's what's up this happy to let love rule, regardless of what kind type of Monday in the MIA. Go out there and love someone, marriage or no marriage. Just as long as it's on your terms. XO
UPDATE AS OF 1:30 PM- Just spotted an article on the Atlantic Wire that New York (and business genius) Mayor Bloomberg are going to hype the crap out of this marriage thing with a massive ad campaign targeted at gay couples. Needless to say, this will give New York City tourism a nice kick in its pants...link below. And how much do you love that New York is already finding a way to monetize this? It's all happening, mere days after. Love is big business. Smart.
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2011/06/new-york-city-now-looks-cash-...