Good morning, Thursday. I've been waking up so early lately to greet the day and just get going. Either that, or I'm just too worried all the time to sleep.
Here's the thing- I've become a later in life optimist for the most part. I certainly wasn't raised that way and it's not particularly present in my DNA. But I've been through a lot and come through a lot and I made the decision to try and live in the light as much as I possibly could. But times like these challenge even the most sunny amongst us, so what to do what to do?
The news is all so distressing and horrible and absolutely relentless with negativity and darkness. I just found out one of my favorite neighborhood haunts is shuttering for good and it triggered me deeply. It's absolutely true that often you don't know what you've got till it's gone. And I'm going to miss this special little bar called Robert that spun Brit Pop on Thursdays and had that special sauce that made it the perfect neighborhood bar that could easily be at home in any city around the world. I loved it there and will miss it terribly. Argh.
And though Fall is my favorite time of year, I find myself feeling some dread about winter. I'm not ready. For early darkness and freezing cold. I realize my complaint about a bar closing and weather could be seen as entitled- after all, I'm working thank goodness and I have my health and people and a pet I love and all the things. But the thing about the bar is not as much about me, but about the fact that the person who owns it was not expecting any of this and deserves far better, and the idea that a community gathering spot has vanished is totally sad.
I'm not trying to bring anybody down here- we are all feeling it together and going through it together and it's not just the fact we have such a polarizing president, it's the fact that he is beyond toxic and a complete danger to our democracy (duh). Can you even think of a more important election than this one? Staged during a global pandemic and with implications for women and everyone else for the rest of our time on this planet? It's a wonder any of us are sleeping at all. Not to mention just about everything else coming across my news feed from COVID spikes to Breonna Taylor to oh, just about every damn thing. Just last night, a report of a dumpster fire in Park Slope came up on my Citizen app, and man- could there be a more apt malcontent moment to sum up 2020?
Yesterday I posted on Facebook that I could use a bit of good news. Any good news. I got the best responses. From reports on good doggie behavior to a friend from high school getting a job after being unemployed for a while to cherishing a sunset, it lifted my spirits slightly, and I sensed that sharing good news felt great for them too. What struck me about the news people shared were their simplicity- and how grateful all of us are for any victorious moments we are feeling right now. It truly is all about the little things sometimes. And it's beautiful to find those things that bring joy amidst so much discord.
As for me, I'm coping by overexercising and generally working my butt off. I find myself appreciating evenings more than ever and try to set some boundaries around working after 6ish. I'm currently loving two very different shows about islands- the new Jude Law thriller/scary as f show on HBO called "The Third Day" and the deliciously vapid American version of "Love Island". Never has winding down felt more important. What else what else? I'm tremendously grateful for all that I've got going on- not a day goes by where I don't count the little things and blessings that are part of my everyday existence. But still, it's a hard time to be a human being, particularly a sensitive, empathic one. I do pray that some balance prevails after all of this manic energy. This too shall pass? Here's hoping.
My next post will most likely be about fashion or some such. I write those not because I'm a superficial woman but because fashion and style and personal expression bring me joy. I hope that my writing sparks a chord with you and brings you joy too. I feel lucky to write and share and so glad so many of you reach out to tell me you appreciate it. Cause that's what's up this trying to see the bright side kind of Thursday in the 718. Yours, in keeping it real. XO