In praise of softness


Good afternoon, Monday. It's a nice, warm day in New York and despite the fact that my bangs are frizzing a bit and that nobody has gotten the memo about air conditioning in this stuffy town, I'm feeling rejuvenated by my weekend upstate, albeit slightly sad to be home. 

I have always said that nature is overrated, which is probably one of the more ridiculous things I have ever said. (And I've said a few). I'm not one for bugs, wild animals, camping. I'm not cut out for such endeavors but what I am cut out for is a serene, beautiful setting with loads of trees and a quiet lake.  As David, Khan, and I hung out in our little rented country cabin this weekend, it hit me. I need to soften up. We all do. 

New York is a city of sharp angles, often like shards of glass. There are people everywhere, buildings everywhere, cars everywhere. There are bikes everywhere, long lines for lunch everywhere, and too many idiots on their phones and not watching where they're going everywhere. In New York, there's simply too much of everything, and everywhere. That's one of the reasons it's the best city in the world, but it's also one of the big bummers of living here. Sometimes, its harsh cruelty and onslaught becomes too damn hard. The dimensions can feel too extreme, too sharp, too intense.  Now back to this soft thing.

I may not be the softest personality on Earth. I'm cynical, I'm sharp, I too am intense. But going somewhere where there is oxygen and quiet and woods has a softness that I could really use a whole lot more. Now that my quiet little nabe of Brooklyn is getting as  busy as a Monday in midtown , I need a break from all of that harshness, and most of you probably do too . I've figured out after a few years on this planet that life is about balance- and man/woman can not live by the city alone, and you've got to balance all of that angular living for something more fuzzy, rounded, and warm. In recent years, more and more people have moved back to cities- where there's great culture, fabulous shopping, a pulsing energy. But what does that do for the rest of us who were already here? It's true my neighborhood feels a bit like Portland- more urban hippie than fast paced loony town, but the sheer volume of strollers, ice coffee drinkers, and Audi wagons gives me a stomach ache. I can't be the only one who feels this way can I? Don't get me started on Mondays in midtown...

If more people took the time to let in some softness, the world would be a better place. It's all of that sharpness that makes people crazy. Think of the lengths we go to to even look angular- it's even become demonized for women to be a little bit physically soft, which at one time, was considered the sexiest thing on Earth. Who wants to sleep with a shard of glass? From the looks of the women in the city these days, everyone. Just. Get. The. Pasta. Jesus.

But I'm getting away from my point- I think we live in a world where we are programmed that being hard and tough are the only ways to survive. That may be true to an extent, but I plan to find some peace and embrace something a little more soft. I didn't realize how much I needed it until this past weekend, when the cruelty of the city left me for a few precious days.  Where I wore something loose, didn't even think about CC or BB or any other kind of cream, and generally just eased it all up a little. It was bliss.  Sometimes you have to lose focus to gain real perspective. We are all so busy eyes on the prizing that often we forget to see anything at all. I'm worried about us. Really.

This may seem obvious to many of you, but I'm often late to the party .  Both David and I recognize how lucky we are to live in New York, but it's getting the balance right that proves challenging- and if anyone ever accuses me of going a little soft, I'll take it as a compliment. All of this hardness does not a better person make. Cause that's what's up this dimmed Monday in the not very warm and fuzzy 212. Yours, in mellowing out, and softening up. XO