Hi, Wednesday. It's hot as hell outside. I'm a mess. I realllly don't get along with this weather. I want to break up. I'm way more of a Stark than a Lannister when it comes to mercury- I suppose I have a Northern soul.
So yesterday my husband posted a funny list to Facebook about what he "assumes" women like. The list was as follows:
- Sitting on a park bench eating a sandwich
- Early Van Morrison
- Spinach dip served in a regular bowl, not a breadbowl
- Kate Hudson movies but not Kate Hudson
- Diffusers
- Black noses on a dog. Not pink noses
- Pita chips
- Free tote bags
I'm not sure about some of them but can cop to a few for sure (Van Morrison, tote bags, scent diffusers, who doesn't like spinach dip??). I'm shocked that french fries, Target, and touching stuff in stores did not make the list, besides some other stuff. Still, not inaccurate. Impressive. Black noses only, though? Not sure about that one. Cause I love all dog noses and that's the truth.
But I thought I'd do a little list of my own on the blog today, of things I "assume" all men like. I'm probably talking about hetero men here, because that's the brand I sleep with and know best, and there's some crossovers here but I would definitely draft a different list for my best gays. So here's a few universal things I think men dig on. Women would be an obvious one so gonna get a bit more specific, though one of my species is going to make that list.
Brad Pitt. Yup. All men love Brad Pitt and will even admit he's good looking. There are very few men that other men will say is good looking, and he's one of them. Particularly Fight Club era Brad Pitt. Yea, that's what I thought.
Fight Club. No surprise there. All dudes love that crazy Fincher shit.
Brown Liquor. Yea, guys love some bourbon, tequila, whiskey. You name it. If it's brown, they're down.
The smell of their own funk. It's true, admit it. You guys (all 3 of you that read this) enjoy stewing in your own juices and happily rejoice in the smell of your own sweat after going to the gym or working in the yard. Don't lie. You know they do. There's some women that like this too- meaning the smell of your funk. I am not a fan. Keep it clean. And I do mean all of it.
Picking at themselves. Find me a guy that can resist messing with a cheek zit or an ingrown hair. They can't help themselves. It's just what they do. There's only so many times you can tell them "just leave it alone". They won't listen so don't bother.
Nachos. I don't care if you're a recent vegan, pescetarian, or any other arian. I know men love some nachos so don't try and fight it. Nachos are delicious. We like them too. But you REALLY like them. Like a lot. Screw gluten free or dairy free or meat free. Nachos are always an exception to the rule. After all, you got all your food groups mad covered, yo.
Kate Upton Not her movies or anything. Oh, wait- does she have a personality too? I'm sure you didn't notice. And if you don't like Kate Upton, you're not a real man. She's hot as hell.
Tools that do more than one thing. Think Swiss Army knives or any other multipurpose thing that they can pull out and get all Macgyver on your ass. They love that shit.
Motorcycles. Even if you know enough about yourself to know you will never own one (cause maybe your wife will kill you- lame), a man can't help but admire a vintage Indian or a very fast Ducati (although those are for douchebags). An old Triumph? Stick a fork in any man. They're done for. Men like the bikes, the bikes that go vrooom. They can't help themselves. They also love Steve McQueen but that's not here nor there.
Danger. Men like danger. Most won't indulge it but they can't resist putting a little too much lighter fluid into the bonfire, or fantasizing about a near death experience, because they NEVER thought they'd live past 27. I call this Jim Morrison syndrome- live fast, die young and such. Just the way dudes are, bro.
I'm sure there are a million more I'm not thinking of, like when women laugh at their jokes, Bugs Bunny, and Rosie Perez in the opening credits of "Do The Right Thing". These are a just a few for you and wondering if you have more to add or if you agree? I love you boys, and I think I know what you're into. I feel pretty confident in my top ten list, wondering how yours matches up? Game on.
Cause that's what's up this I know what boys like kind of Wednesday in the 212, bra. Yours, in male chromosomes. XO