Good morning, Wednesday. So today is the big birthday and I woke up feeling not totally in the partying mood. It's true as we get older birthdays are not the can't wait to get out of bed moment they were when you were a kid, but I'm aware I have much to celebrate today- a great life with fulfilling work, plenty of love, and friends that make me laugh and share my point of view on any number of issues. Not to mention that sweet little fur face called Khan, who you all know makes everything ok always.
But I'm jumpy. I'm jumpy because as we grow older, we stop taking risks. When we're in our twenties ,we take risks that are, well, just too risky. We may party too much, go home with people we shouldn't, and risk our careers by maybe not understanding how we can do better and be better. We take these risks because we don't have the confidence or the wisdom to do otherwise, but then POW. One day you wake up kind of old and you realize you've got it all going on, save for some extra pounds and the need for eye cream, but guess what? You're a complete bore. Ok, maybe you're not. But I am.
I'm not at all talking about some midlife crisis that has me wanting to jump out of a plane or go find G-d somewhere. It's taking risks to break up the monotony of living a very secure life. It's informed risk sometimes, other times, it may be a risk worth taking because we are unhappy in the every day of our lives, or that thing in your life that feels so secure and safe is keeping you from real growth. I'm just saying, and take it from an old lady- just because you're older and wiser doesn't mean you can stop doing things that feel scary, unknown, or counter to the norm. I woke up this morning realizing I've lost some of my wacky streak (some of you would disagree) and I've conformed to a degree I may not be that cool with. Yea, it's textbook midlife shit. I get it. I'm not about to give it all up and live on a commune, but all I'm saying is don't be afraid to take some risks, to shake it up, and do something new. It's never too late.
So this year, I'm going to try and take a risk or two. It feels right to me in the grand scheme. I'm not sure what part of my life is going to benefit from such adventures, I think it's more a general sense of being. All the best people I know are risk takers- and I so admire people that live fearless lives. One of my fav bands of recent years, Tame Impala, has the ultimate line from their song "Feels Like We Only Go Backwards" about that sense of hoping to move forward, but always feeling a bit left back, despite conventional wisdom:
"It feels like I only go backwards baby.
Every part of me says go ahead."
You know that feeling right? Yea, sure I'm good the way I am, but that doesn't mean I can give myself the license to be inert. No way. No how. Sure I'm moving forward, but it's bigger than just leaving Miami, having a new job, and trying new restaurants every week or changing the color of my hair. It's bigger than that- every part of me says go ahead. Every fiber. And somehow I'm realizing you don't have to give up everything you already have to do that- you can count your blessings while creating many new ones.We'll see where that takes me this year. I hope it's somewhere nice, and hopefully not too bloody hot. Cause that's what's up this bday edition of this here thing. All the love and thanks for reading. Now, get on with it. Life is short. XO