Good afternoon on this gloomy day in Brooklyn. It's been a minute. And my darlings, it's not been easy of late. Much on my mind and have been feeling a bit compromised in the living life to the fullest department. I don't know- call it midlife, call it depletion, call it whatever you want. I've been riding the funk train for a few stops now and I'm sensing it's time for me to get off. How long can one blame Mercury really?
So this morning found me particularly tangled up in blue- last night I went to see "Florence and the Machine" and although I'm hardly a superfan, it's hard to ignore the force that is Ms. Florence. Clad in a cobalt blue sheer robe with high waisted briefs and bra showing through and that sick red hair, Florence is just the real deal and that's that. Plus I love barefoot chicks on stage. I can't help it. And though seeing her was a powerful experience, I felt that nagging self-pity when you see a woman like Florence living in her full and utter truth- why can't I be half naked on a stage and be brighter than a comet? PS- that's more figurative obviously. I'm not about that, but it speaks more to the notion of owning who you are, singing it loudly, and not being afraid to show all your bits to the world. I feel sometimes we truly hide from ourselves for fear of rejection, overexposure, or vulnerability. Why do we do that? Why do I do that? Ugh, humanity. It's not easy being a human these days. Thank goodness for being barefoot. It's always been my way to get a little grounded when I feel anything but.
But with the news of Orlando still sharp as Valyrian steel (that one was for you GOTS peeps) and babies being torn apart by alligators in Disney, one has to take stock in the great things one has going. And for me, the consistent thread of greatness in my love belongs to my very first love- New York City. You all know this; I've shoved it down your throats for years. But a muse is a muse and NY, oh baby. You're the one for me. And all of the amazing people in this city that have made it well worth the very steep price of admission. I'm a lucky lady.
I had to have lunch in the city today, and really, all I wanted to do is get back under the duvet. But I dressed myself and made up myself and made myself smell nice and went into Manhattan. And I had a lovely lunch with someone I've known for years in the photography industry and we laughed and joked and talked about life and work and love. Being around him made me feel better, and sometimes New York on a gloomy day is perfectly magical for long walks as the perfect accessory for pensive moods. I walked down Tenth Avenue all the way to the West Village, running into another one of my favorite people along the way, who was more than happy to offer his advice on how to deal with the ants running rampant in my apartment. We had a laugh about that too. And all along the way on this walk I saw beautiful people of all shapes and sizes rocking mad style and brightening my day. New York- you're better than drugs. And that's the truth. New York has always taken care of me somehow, healed me, forced me to get my never ending shit together, and then rewarded me with its riches.
As I continued my little trot downtown I ran into a pal's ex girlfriend, who was making a go of it as a chef and though struggling, seemed happy and thrilled with life because she was finally doing what she loved. And she gifted me with a vegan cardamom muffin as a token before I got on the train. Free gifts that taste good don't suck.
I took the train back to the BK and felt that familiar relief of home as I got off the train. I don't know how many of you live or have spent time in Brooklyn, but there's something about getting off the train after being in Manhattan that makes everything ok. I always exhale on habit when I get back to the 718- and even though my once affordable neighborhood is now populated by rich bohos, I still get the best vibe here and it makes me so happy.
Oh, and as for the ants- the exterminator came and he too was a funny character- an East Village OG who moved to Park Slope for his dogs. How can you not love a guy like that? Unfortunately, he kicked me out of my apartment as he goes about his ant murder, but I found my way to my favorite local spot for coffee, where they're blasting Nas and all is well and the freelancers are drinking cold brew and crafting their dreams/mission statements/Tinder profiles. And tonight I've got plans with a friend who is always good for a laugh. Life is not so bad.
Look it's been hard lately for me, but I am so eternally grateful for all that this city perpetuates and offers me and challenges me to do. It is in so many ways my perfect muse- beautiful, massive, crazy sexy. And when things don't always work out the way I want them to, New York is there for me. Sure sometimes it's unbearably annoying and expensive and gross, but for the most part the less than stellar moments here are still better than great moments any place else. You know why? Because New York has a way of always letting you know you're alive. As for the photo, it's a pic I took on my walk today and posted on Instagram. It's such a great question rally, because I can totally picture an aggro and exasperated New Yorker asking it "ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE????"
Yea I'm alive. Thanks for asking, random General Store in Chelsea. Sometimes it's barely breathing but because of this city that gives me so much, I'm tots alive. And grateful I get to live, breath, and sleep in this wacko den of greatness. And even as my apartment is being invaded my ants, I'm so happy that when I need to escape some toxic fumes, I can walk the streets of my favorite place and feel completely and totally alive. And that's what's so perfecto about living here- it makes me feel alive. And in a city like New York, you may get yelled at, hit over the head, and berated for feeling otherwise. So today was a day that could have easily been all about laying in bed with hours of Bravo, but instead it turned into a pretty magical day, with very little effort and a little help from my friends and my boo, New York City. I hope you're feeling alive wherever you are, too. Cause that's what's up this lively afternoon in my town. Yours, in lifelong muses and long walks and nice little moments like this. XO