Good morning, Tuesday. You're here and so am I so LET'S DO THIS.
I've got lots to do today and need to mine some productivity but had to take a moment or two out of the day to ask the following of you men folk: What's with all the gay jokes between you? I mean, I know some of you are insanely homophobic, but for the rest of you straight men out there, why in hell are you constantly calling each other gay? Why not just make fun of your boy's fucked up face, or his inability to close with a chick he's been seeing for 3 months? Or the way your homie can't bench as much as you at the gym? But why oh why do any of these things ultimately add up to calling each other gay? (Oh and PS, most gay guys are in better shape than you, just a PS there).
I have never understood it, like, ever. As a woman who has always dated men (I even married one), I have never once shouted over the desk to one of my female coworkers "you are SUCH a lesbian". Or, "your outfit screams your love for lady parts today" or "the way you are reaching for that latte is so butch". We would absolutely never call each other gay- it's just not something we do, and I wonder why so many dudes feel the need to do that ad infinitum. It's just not an insult we sling, and wondering how that level of diss is so indigenous to straight males. Please enlighten me. I need to know why you do this. I have my suspicions, but want them confirmed (something to do with insulting manhood I suppose). Does it really make you feel like more of a man by calling another one gay? Now that I think about this, maybe the difference between our teasing habits is not as subtle as I thought...
We women have our own way of digging, believe me. It's done behind each other's backs for the most part. Or it's telling each other to "calm down" when we get upset, which only makes us crazier. Oh and calling us crazy is pretty bad too, especially amongst ourselves. But never in my history as a card carrying member of the estrogen club have I seen a woman call another woman gay, who isn't. And with that, our lack of such slander is just another reason we're a little cooler than you, so sorry boys. That and the fact that we're taking over the television networks and taking over the comedy genre, too (take that Christopher Hitchens). Pretty soon we'll be in as many powerful positions as you are, with nary a gay joke amongst us. Honestly had to get that out there, because it's one of life's little mysteries, that and why you have to grunt at the gym so damn much (maybe go lighter on the chest presses?).
Not hatin' on the boys, just wondering. I do still love you, but really? Cause that's what's up this strange affectation of a Tuesday in the MIA. XO