When more is not more (and less could very well be better)

Good morning, Tuesday. I'm WFH today as I'm sick with that nasty cold that seems to be going around.  So much to do but sometimes you need to take care of yourself, right?

So yesterday all of my winter clothes came out of storage and ugh. I hate them all. It's so bad. I'm not much for shopping right now but damn if I'm not in my very own style rut. At times like this, I find myself reaching for something that feels more like a uniform- lately I've been wearing a lot of tights and dresses so guess I'll just stick to that. I can't seem to wrap my head around my own look right now. Oh well.

Also- my workouts. I am in the worst workout rut and not sure how to get out of it. I've been a barre devotee for years and now I'm finding myself not as into it. I still like spin but can't do it every day. Looking for a major switch up in that department as well.

And truly, finding inspiration of late for this little blog has been challenging. On the glass is half full side- I've been writing almost full time for a freelance job which has been absolutely wonderful. On the half empty side, I don't feel like writing for myself as much when I'm doing it for a living.

And therein lies the issue.

I have a tough time really taking care of myself. Sure I spend gobs of money on self care or intended self care like hair, makeup, good skincare, etc. But that's not really self care now is it? Lately this has come up for me because my mom has needed some attention and I felt for the first time in forever I needed to really be there for her, be present for her. I have always put work first and family second. That's a terrible thing to say, but it's true. I realized this past month how life has a funny way of showing you what's most important. I know that sounds cliched, but it's real. I think when a parent needs you it puts your own life in perspective, and right now I realize I need to listen to my body and self. I need to take a sick day when I don't feel well. I need to find a new workout situation that makes me feel great again. And I need to not bite off more than I can chew every single day of the week. Because I need to keep working but I also need to keep doing my own stuff- working out, writing here, discovering some new sources of joy.  I quit my art class because I couldn't find the time, and that's stupid.

Not sure where I'm going with all of this but I've been little Ms. Meh of late and I want to change that. Probably does not include a wardrobe change though. I'm sticking with what I have for now because I'm not interested in more. I'm interested in less, but better.And that applies to all areas of my life- don't need to work out like a lunatic six days a week and don't need to make myself crazy wondering what's next.

And lest you think I'm contradicting myself by saying I need to take care of myself when I just said I need to take care of my family, you're wrong. I need to be strong and healthy and not bury myself in stuff that I shouldn't be sweating when "real life" is calling. It doesn't mean I don't care about work, it just means I need to make some space for family and for myself. That's all.

Cause that's what's up this friends and family first kind of Tuesday in the 718. Yours, from under the duvet. XO