Oh, shut up already.

Good morning, Tuesday. Gorgeous Fall day here in the big city.

So last night I was talking to someone on the phone who indicated how much they're enjoying silence of late. As in no TV, no music, just the sounds of the suburbs and not much else. For me, that's never been ideal- I need an endless hum of background noise- whether it's BBC Radio 6 or its NPR or its CNN on an endless loop or its my latest Discover Weekly playlist on Spotify.  But lately, I see the value in stone cold silence. Because there are way too many people that need to shut the hell up, and they're simply talking wayyyyy too much.

And with that, I give you a list of my top people that need to shut the hell up before the midterms/2020/end of time. Seriously, just shut up already.

Kanye. He's number one. Please shut up. Please stop talking about making America great again and turning Uganda into "Jurassic Park". Please just stop talking completely. 

Elizabeth Warren. Shut the hell up. Stop taking DNA tests. And keep your wacky chick thing away from the midterms. I beg.

The Clintons. It's endless for them really. They need to shut up now. Stop talking. Disappear in Chapaqqua. Take a vow of silence. Go away.

Trump. This goes without saying. Because he's the President and you're not. A direct quote from his 60 Minutes interview this past Sunday. Quiet on set. We are all losing our minds. If I never heard his voice again, it would not be a moment too soon.

Alec Baldwin. Yes, yes. This one pains me. But his "black people love me" comments and his new talk show which is more about him than any of his guests just has me very annoyed by him. Not forever in terms of shutting up. Just right now.

Between all the podcasts, Instagram stories, and reality/dystopian shows happening in 2018, I need some peace and quiet. I probably need to shut it up too. For real. But back to the above list- clearly there's many not mentioned but for now, a vow of silence is an almost perverse fantasy in terms of all the tremendous talking leading up to arguably the most important midtown election of our lifetime. I've just about had it. So shush.

Cause that's what's up this shhhhhh of a Tuesday in the very unquiet 212. Yours, in exercising the fifth amendment; because there's never been a better time. XO