Live through this: A personal take on how time is on my side

Good morning, Thursday. The sun is finally back and what a difference it makes. 

So I was just unwrapping the amazingly comprehensive NY Times piece on Generation X. It seems, yet again, we're having a moment. As so many of you know, being a member of the MTV generation is something I'm super passionate about. I have been lost and found a million times in this thing called life but my card carrying status as an Xer had never, ever left me, I'm eternally grateful for all of the references, music, and cynicism it has given me. G-d bless my Xness.

One of the pieces noted that it's 25 years since 1994, and it's worth checking in on what my generation is doing with themselves. What's particularly significant for me about that year is it's the year I moved to New York City. A year I can never, ever forget because it was one of the most pivotal of my life. 

I remember the end of my days in Philly, feeling so disassociated and disenchanted with the place I called home. And I wanted to reinvent what that meant. In general. I reached a point where all of my friends got out of Dodge, and I was the only one left- with a dead end job at a classical architecture firm and a crush on a coworker who wore sweater vests. I also remember eating a lot of plain baked potatoes for lunch.  Desperado.

I've always had a preloaded desire to live in New York, and with a lackluster life on the horizon, I wanted to make a move. So I got a job interview in the 212 and got on a train and got that job. And I moved on my birthday and never looked back. And just like that, life opened up. And the New York years happened and life happened and shit happened and here I am. Ready for what's next. My 30s were for falling in love and feeling loved and making up for all the funky fuckupedness of my 20s. Ten years later, I moved to Miami to take a job that would change the way I thought about work forever. And then very early into my 40s, it was time to come back to New York. And so I did.

To lens the backdrop a bit for you, here's what was going on that year in the world of pop culture. Madonna smoked a cigar on Letterman. NIrvana came out with "Unplugged". Oasis released "Definitely Maybe".  So many other things. Pulp Fiction and Uma's bob. OJ's glove. Playstation. Reality Bites. And of course, Hole's "Live Through This", an album I had on blast for the majority of the year, and had the baby tee with the logo to show my devotion to Courtney and co. Incredibly prolific times. But let's talk about right here and now.

Because with a new decade of life not too far off, I feel a new shift in the way I approach and process things. Sure there are way less f's given. But I tend to give f's to the stuff that matters. Like not working with jerks. Or energy vampires. Or people who are not my tribe. I also am focused on authenticity. And though that word is overwrought and overplayed, I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the need to live my truest life. And for me, that means being creative on my terms. Still figuring out that bit but bear with me...I've got a few minutes to figure out how to be the voice of my
generation. ;)

And 25 years since 1994 some things are still with me. I still love this big dumb city.  I'm still a redhead. I still love hip hop. I'm definitely more confident now, but in many ways, more vulnerable. The bottom line is- I'm still me. I may spend a bit more money on skincare and shoes but still here. It's interesting to think about the things you want to keep with you. Truly. I think it's a mistake to think about getting older as a time where you have to let everything go. Not always true. Because every phase of life gives you something for the next.  It's not about nostalgia at all, mind you. It's just having the roots and foundation so you can always keep moving and changing.  

Fascinating this moment. Treasuring it, savoring it, not afraid of it. 

Cause that's what's up this looking back to look forward kind of Thursday in the 212. Yours, in love and hope and sex and dreams. XO

PS- music nerds look at this list of releases from 1994. Insane.