Good morning, Monday. I was watching telly this weekend and came across "Being John Malkovich", an old favorite that's still great fun to watch. And I remembered how much I adore Catherine Keener, an actress who always felt very normal and beautiful and cool.
So I started googling her a bit to see what she's been up to, and you'd be surprised what comes up when you do a search on her. "Weight Gain" seems to be a commonly searched term. Seriously? People are googling her weight gain?
And then I came across a little list that got my goat. Shape Magazine published a list of women who are "aging gracefully" and then of course, those who are not. UGH.
I loathe the term "aging gracefully".
I don't understand what aging gracefully means- does that mean that you are aging like the same 5-10 celebrities that always come up when we talk about aging (Christie Brinkley, Helen Mirren, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, etc.)? Also- what if I don't want to age gracefully? Full disclosure- I have no fillers and no botox in my jaw or anywhere else. My crow's feet are alive and kickin'. I use a lot more lotions and potions than I used to but graceful aging seems like something from the dark ages. I get the sentiment but just stop telling me to age like Halle Berry. She's a beautiful freak of nature and I'm just out here trying to keep it together. Does it mean if I don't have millions of dollars and a full staff that I won't age (choke) gracefully? Don't even get me started on "anti-aging". Does that mean you're also "anti-life"?
My point- screw anyone that's prescriptive about how you should age. We are so hung up on looking younger and it's absolutely insane. Like some of you, I've always worn trendy clothes and I'm not about to stop now. Yea, there's some stuff I don't favor nowadays but that's just like anything else- tastes change, develop, evolve. IT'S FINE. CHILL. If you are doing everything you can to "fight" the aging process, you're going to lose. From your dignity to your confidence to your truest self. Instead, don't get so hung up on who's doing what. Rise above it all and just be ageless. It's not easy in a society where we are age obsessed, but it's all just gotten insane.
I just hate the fact that a beautiful and talented actress like Keener has been put through the wringer for a few pounds- she's almost 60 and looks fantastic. The world is so very cruel to aging women. Want to know some synonyms for "graceful"? Try: balletic, beautiful, decorative. Want to know the antonyms for the same word? Awkward. Coarse. Crude. Unattractive. Fat.
Can we stop talking about women in these terms? I'm guessing no but I found it shameful a magazine that celebrates "healthy" women would publish such a list. True it may be click bait, but good grief. And don't tell me Courtney Love is not aging gracefully. Why on Earth would she want to? I'm over these colloquial conversations about aging. Make it stop. And lest you think it's about "giving up", it's not. It's about being comfortable with who you are, whatever that may mean to you, genetic miracle or botox pin cushion aside.
Just be cool, everyone. How about we become more graceful when talking about the aging process? There's much more to life, and I know this because I'm getting old. Cause that's what's up this far from graceful Monday in the 212. Yours, in growing up, not giving up. XO