Good morning, Tuesday I'm working on a monster project right now and I suspect my blogging will be fairly skint. But I wanted to take a moment and say how moved I was by how many people showed love and shared my Facebook post this weekend about the horrid massacre in Pittsburgh. I'll repost it for you below but the fact that I touched so many people with my words meant the world to me. Thanks to all who shared it and commented.
A dear friend of mine told me she can always tell when I write from the heart, vs. when I'm phoning it in (I'll never tell). Thing is, I'm a heart person. I wear my heart on my sleeve more often than not, and when my heart's not in something, it's very difficult for me to do it. Sure I'm a head person when I need to be- I'd be a pretty shit producer if I didn't have my head on straight. But I am absolutely ruled by my heart, for better or worse. I used to think this was a terrible thing. But as I get older and think about what makes me happy, it's almost always when I'm following my heart. I'm sure that's true for most of us- but for me, it's crucial. Essential even.
As someone who is always looking to deepen my dedication to creativity, I'm kind of nothing without heart and a healthy dose of gut. I need to trust that more. When I wrote those words this weekend I was deeply distressed by the news, and the words flew out of me- quickly and precisely. When I'm not operating from the heart, I find it much more difficult. Not everything we do can be heartfelt, but I have to try to continue my quest to surround myself with people, places, and work that make my heart swell. And this weekend's news also had me thinking about the absolutes that make up who we are, or at least, who I am.
Because despite the career shifts, life shifts, diet shifts, hair shifts, and other tokens of ephemera, there are some threads that have served me throughout my entire life. I am a woman. I am a Jewish woman. And I am almost all heart. No matter where I've gone or who I've been, those things are a constant. And as I wrote in the post below, sometimes it takes a senseless tragedy to get you back in touch with the things you can always count on- that define you to your core, even if you may not be aware of them all the time.
Thanks for supporting my heart and reading this blog. Needless to say, my heart is not reserved for heavy topics alone. I can feel my heart race over so many things- a new lipstick, a new shoe, an awesome meal. Inspiration comes from my heart, and when I feel it quicken, I know it's right. That's just who I am, and who I've always been.
And that's what's up this heart filled Tuesday in the 212. Yours, in no point fighting who you are. XO
Post from Facebook below:
I've been a card carrying Jewish woman my entire life. I can remember from an early age knowing that we were a bit different, and that many people had tried to take us down and would try again. I grew up knowing that people would hate me and my family and friends sight unseen because I was a Jew. I thought about my married name "Rosenberg" and wondered if it was too much of a "tell" (as if anyone would think I wasn't Jewish anyway).
I grew up having our family cars soaped with swastikas on mischief night and remember armed guards at the holidays at the synagogue where I was bat mitzvah'd. It's true I'm not terribly religious at this point- not having kids is probably a big factor in that but I never, ever forget my Judaism and how it has informed almost everything about me- my humor, my body type, my tendency towards self deprecation. But it also gave me so much- being curious about the world, valuing education, questioning everything, and of course- a love of family and friends and giving and sharing and laughing and loving.
Those things are not unique to Judaism of course, but they're my very favorite things about it. And although I am far from observant, I hurt like hell today thinking about what happened in Pittsburgh. Being Jewish has always meant a lot to me- because it's not easy. Nothing is easy. I know this. But Jews have always had to fight for their lives- literally. And because of who we are and how we're raised, we're going to continue to do so.
I am eternally grateful to be a Jew, and today I'm feeling that more than most, just like I felt so proud to be a New Yorker after 9/11. Nobody can take that away. There has been hate long before Trump and I suspect there will be long after he's gone. But never forget who you are.
Sometimes a tragedy will make you truly see that through different eyes, and remember how lucky you are to come from a bloodline of fighters and survivors. This is who I am, and who I will always be.