A cheeky post (and rant)


So I have a bit of a bone to pick. A grievance, if you will. 

First let me say I am NOT body shaming here in any way. I celebrate women of all shapes and sizes. But it's Summertime in New York City and there's a scourge happening. A plague. A vulgarity I can't accept.

There is, right here in the scorching hot 212, an absolute ass cheek epidemic. I can't.

Walk down any street in New York and you'll see ass cheeks. I kid you not.  And although the boys might enjoy this free butt peep show, I do not. Put your ass cheeks back in their shorts. Please. Dear Lord. Please.

I would gladly give up Gucci (maybe not really if only women would stop doing this. From too short denim "mom" shorts to way too short running shorts, I'm seeing a whole lotta ass. And I don't like it. 

I'm not sure at what point these women are in their journey and I suppose I can golf clap their confidence, but what in their minds tells them that it's perfectly ok to walk down the streets of Soho with their buns out? Are they taking "sun's out, buns out" a little too far? I think so. Absolutely. I'm happy for everyone that they're working hard on that butt, but keep it in your yoga pants. Sure the random butt at the top of this post is beautiful. But still...

If you are at the beach, perhaps this is ok. In the urban jungle, I'm a hard, strong, fervent no. It's true this is a look generally embraced by younger women, but it's raunchy and gross and just plain tacky.  A crime against fashion to the nth power. Plus, how do you sit on a subway seat with your arse hanging out? How gross is that? Don't get me wrong- I love denim shorts as much as the next girl. But you get my drift.

So mamas, stuff your trunk junk back in your shorts. Buy them a size bigger. Whatever you have to do.  I don't want to see all that. And straight dudes who by slim chance may be reading this, I don't care what you think. It's a yucky thing and that's that. All in favor of bringing back a bit of length in shorts, say "aye".

Cause that's what's up this pearl clutch, bone pick of a Friday in the 212. Yours, in keeping it under wraps. XO