Maven Beauty Fail: The Cezanne kind of cezsucks

Good morning, Thursday. Humidity is feeling slightly more bearable today after a brutal week. Please Fall, hurry up. 

And speaking of humidity, I've been a proud card carrying member of the Keratin club ever since I discovered this wonder treatment years ago in Miami. My hair has a bit of wave and gets fairly frizzy in the humidity (one of the many magical things about being Jewish) so Miami is a town where keratin treatments become something of a must have.

I have always loved how the keratin makes my hair dry in seconds and remain straight but not flat (could be perfect for my hair texture) and it allows me to show off my haircuts which are always somewhere between a bob or a shag, so layered and they need to look messy in the good way, not the messy way. See that lovely illustration at the top of this post? More like that. Ladies, I know you know what I mean. Men, I'm sure you're not reading this anyway.

But everyone knows a keratin treatment has formaldehyde and that's probably not the best thing. So enter the Cezanne treatment, Keratin's Gwyneth Paltrow of a cousin that is formaldehyde free and thus a healthier choice. Ugh. I hate healthy choices. Because sometimes in the world of beauty, they are not nearly as effective as the bad stuff. True fact. 

So I bought a Groupon for a Cezanne and schlepped uptown to get it- the stylist applied it perfectly and thought it would be similar to the keratin results, although I did hear it does not make your hair quite as straight, and my aunt had it done and warned me that she hated it. I should have listened.

Because now I'm stuck with hair that may not be as frizzy as normal, but it feels like straw. STRAW. The old school keratin makes your hair feel like silk. This makes your hair feel like straw. And I don't love the way my hair looks either. It's nowhere near as dialed in as the Keratin.  I need formaldehyde and I need it now. 

So I'm cautioning those of you contemplating a Cezanne to think twice- because if your hair is not like Gwyneth's, you're not going to be happy with it. And that, my friends, is my epic beauty fail for the day. Let me know if you had better results but for me, it's a big thumbs down. The Cezanne cezsucks. Cause that's what's up this better living through chemicals kind of Thursday in the 212. Yours, in Jewish Girl Problems. XO